I’m writing this post the only way I know how. Hung over.

Last night I had a fabulous evening performing at Zelda’s Living Well(692 Yonge Street) with the legendary Terri Stevens. We had a table of 15 in the front row who were celebrating their graduation from make-up school. I’ve never felt more judged in my life, and I grew up with an Italian mother.  Well, that’s not true. When I purchased the Sarah Palin memoirs, I received some stares from the cashiers. But, that’s a story for another day.

It’s hard to believe that Christmas is less than a week away. I feel as though I’m lacking in Christmas spirit. I think the absense of snow on the ground has a lot to do with this. The way global warming is taking affect, Pride will soon be a winter wonderland. I haven’t even started my Christmas shopping. Hope my sister likes Dollarama nic nacs!

I decorated my tree in the hopes that it would help me get into the season of giving(head). Rather than putting an angel or star of David on the top of my tree, I decided to do things a little differently. I stuck a tiara on top that flashes ‘Bitch’. I had to give it the Heroine Marks treatment afterall.

I bought myself an early Christmas gift this week. Two tickets to go see Joan Rivers live! I’m so excited. I want to see her before she either dies or has her face stretched to the point where her eyes become her ears. By now, I can only assume clothes pins are back there keeping everything together. My seats are in row 12. I could have purchased row 6-8, but I was worried the lights would be harsh and I hate the smell of burning plastic. At least in row 12 there is enough of a distance.

Here’s a funny story courtesy of our friends at Canada Post. I opened my mailbox yesterday morning and found a piece of mail for my former roommate. He was Jewish and very religious. He had plates that were for meat only and others that could only be used for dairy products. I use to tell him ‘Just have a BLT and shut it!’ He moved out shortly after. The envelope that came in the mail was marked ‘United Jewish Association’. Well, didn’t Canada Post stamp ‘Merry Christmas’ right on the front of it? Sinfully delicious!

Tonight I’ll be working upstairs at Zelda’s Living Well(692 Yonge Street) during what Lena Over is calling her final Cheap Show. Be sure to come check out the show and stay for dinner and drinks! Sunday evening I’ll also be working and performing upstairs during the Christmas edition of the Window Show with Bunny LeBlanc and Bitch Diva(Virgina Richmond is sick, unfortunately). It is going to be a fabulous weekend of events at Zelda’s Living Well, so be sure to join in on the fun! See you there, sweeties!

With love and venom,

Heroine Marks

xoxo

For those of you who didn’t know, a drag legend returned to Church Street last night in a big way. Scarlett Fever made a return to the Woody’s stage Sunday evening to compete against 13 other queens for the title of Smirnoff Czarina 2010. With no surprise, Scarlett won the title beating queens old and new. I’m very excited that she has returned. I’m hoping to chat with her soon about her victory and comeback. Stay tuned.

Speaking about the return of legends, this Friday at Zelda’s Living Well(692 Yonge Street) I welcome the one and only Terri Stevens as my special guest co-host for Fierce Fridays. We’re planning some Reba and Kelly Clarkson(which is easy for me, since Kelly is fat now). It is sure to be a fun evening, full of laughs. I’m also excited to introduce my lil drag sister to the stage, D’Manda Tension. We have some fabulous duets prepared so be sure to come check out the twisted sisters at 9pm!

Here’s some exciting news! Cassandra Moore will be getting a new weekly show at The Barn in the New Year. Glad to see a new queen getting recognized with her own show. Hope this is a new trend for 2010. There are too many bad queens on Church Street parading around with their tired acts and fried wigs. Is it really hard to learn something that is on the radio now and not from 15 years ago? Hell, is it really hard to know your words or even do more than just stand in the middle of the stage? This, in no way, is my attempt at discrediting the trailblazers and queens before me. Nevertheless, the queens that will always be remembered are the ones who knew when to quit when they were on top. If you’re a queen who is only doing drag for the booze, hang up your heels. If learning a new song, restocking your drag room, or putting together a character look is too much for you, get out of the business. You’re taking up space for the next generation who have something to offer and are being overlooked. Call me a bitch if you want. I call myself one every day!

With love and venom,

Heroine Marks

xoxo