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MAN OF THE HOUR :: DARYN JONES


Daryn Jones is the hilarious (and really sexy) host of MTV Live on MTV Canada. He’s coined a term that has trended on Twitter time and time again, and he is just waiting for you to Bieber his balls.

JUST THE FACTS

I’m a: Capricorn.
I’m: Timeless.
I was born: Between North and South Korea.  I am the DMZ Baby.
I: Fulfill a CRTC mandate for Bell Media (childhood dream).
My fave colour: Taupe.
Passion: Taupe.
Fantasy entourage:  Bobby Flay, Kevin Sorbo and an Orc.
Turn-ons:  Answering surveys for gay websites.
Irresistible in a mate: Compassion and sex organs.
Phrase I most overuse: “Yes, I will complete your survey.”
Most people would be surprised to know I: Am not writing this myself.
Fictional best friend:  Snooki.
Talent I wish I had: That thing you can do when you get two ribs removed.
When I order a cocktail I ask for: Discretion.

GUILTY PLEASURES

TV: Man vs Cake Wars.
Song: “Smell Yo Dick.”
Greatest extravagance: Shark Fin Soup.

WEAR APPARENT

Jeans: Cut-off.
Footwear: Keds.
Watch: Monte’s Carlo.
Eyewear: Liz by Liz Clairborne for Men.
Casual: Lakers Jersey and Jogging Pants.
Formal: Lakers Jersey and Tuxedo Pants.
Perfume / Cologne: Natural Musk

BEAUTY DUTY

Shampoo: Touch of Grey.
Face wash: Sunlight.
Moisturizer: Margarine.
Body Lotion: Butter.
Indulgence: Crashing rental cars.

CULTURE VULTURE

Last book read: The Ivan Lendl Story.
Last movie seen: First 30 minutes of Green Hornet, Last 30 minutes of Green Lantern.
Last concert:  Frank D’Angelo‘s Tribute to Amy Winehouse.
Last play: An Evening with Al Pacino at Fallsview Casino.

OBSESSIONS

Current obsession: My Gun Room.
Past obsession: My Gift Wrapping Room.
Future obsession: Probably something with kittens – like a room dedicated to them or something.

CRYSTAL BALL

The next big thing will be: Hooliganism.

AND FINALLY …

Words of wisdom: Measure once, cut once.

You can catch Daryn Jones, Sheena Snively, and the rest of the MTV Live crew on MTV Live, airing weekdays at 6 p.m. ET and 11 p.m. ET on MTV Canada. Follow Daryn on Twitter!

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I’m going to Jersey Shore, BITCH!


Jersey Shore has become a cultural phenomenon. If you haven’t seen the MTV reality show, I must ask this question: what’s wrong with you? If you love trash television as much as I do, you will fall in love with this show in the first minute! Here’s a quick synopsis. MTV put four guidos(young Italian men) and four guidettes(young Italian girls) in a house on Jersey Shore this past summer. In order to live, party, and find fuck buddies in Jersey Shore, the tanorexic kids must work at their landlords store. Heres the real synopsis: drunk 20 somethings with poor grammar looking to fuck.

One of the biggest criticisms the show has received is that it stereotypes Italians in a negative light. As an Italian myself, I could be offended by the stereotypes (tanned skin, hair gel, and fist pumping), but they originate from truth. Watching this show reminds me of my four years of high school. I was a guido at one point. Thankfully those days are over. My hair can breathe these days. Now, there is a whole new generation of guidos and guidettes out there and frankly they love the lifestyle! If they love it and see no problem with it, why should anyone else? I, frankly, can’t get enough of the trashy antics and are sadden that the show’s final episode airs Thursday night. Hopefully Snooki gets a spin off. PS. HERE IS A LINK TO A VIDEO YOUTUBE REMOVED THAT I ORIGINALLY HAD IN THIS POST. ENJOY! http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/4d2ebc8f52/alyssa-milano-s-evolution-jersey-shore

On the subject of TV, did anyone see the episode of The View last week when the ladies had a sexual health doctor on explaining the G spot? I have never seen Barbara so focused on an interview subject. She was leaning in, listening closely. You just know she was on the verge of screaming ‘WHERE IS IT?!’ Too much!

Be sure to come check out Fierce Fridays this week at 9pm at Zelda’s Living Well(692 Yonge Street) with myself and my drag mother, Miss Conception. We always have a fabulous time, so join in on all the fun!

Over at Zelda’s we also have a new Saturday night show starting Jan 30th called Spray Cheese Saturdays at 9pm. Its a drag show, game show, and talk show all rolled into one! It’s hosted by a new queen named Visa DeCline, a heavily medicated, botox happy socialite who is now broke and stuck hosting drag shows to make money. Every week she’ll invite queens from the street to come in and take on new names, personas, and set lists! This will be drag like you’ve never seen it before! So be sure to reserve your seat now!

Until next time…

With love and venom,

Heroine Marks

xoxo

 

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