It was such a beautiful afternoon last Saturday that I decided to hang out on a coffee shop terrace and have a chat with some friends.

When it was time to leave, a friend joined me for the walk over to my bike.

He goes to the gym frequently, and man I really need to get into a regular routine. Our conversation drifted over to a spiel this drag queen did in Puerto Vallarta

“You know ever six much I go on my own special diet. I call it the ‘Los Muertos Diet’

That’s when I go over to one of the taco side street vendors and order me up half a dozen tacos, go home and woof them down with a bottles of cheap Mexican beer.

It takes about a week to work, and that’s ironically how long you’ll be sitting on the toilet.

But I guarantee that you’ll be fitting a size six in no time.”

All of this pass through my head when I looked at him and said, you know, trying to do all this healthy stuff. I should have waited a week after the “eating cooked meet previously and partially unthawed and refrozen whilst the freezer door was open all night” incident.

I would have been so much slimmer, and I’d still have been able to eat Sara lee cheesecake.

Whilst on the toilet, mind you, but I’d still be able to eat it guilt free.

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