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xo -Robert

“We must not be free because we claim it but because we practice it.” William Faulkner

As Canadians prepare to gorge ourselves on turkey and carbs, your brothers and sisters to the south prepare for one of the biggest queer rights demonstrations in history. This weekend, LGBTQ activists will march on Washington as part of a demonstration demanding equal treatment under the law. Gay history is a long a complex one, but the most pertinent of it can be seen in the 20th and 21st century. Starting with Berlin, once a gay mecca, plagued by Nazi Germany’s extermination of homosexuals in addition to the Jews, and other “undesirables” who would lose their lives during the Holocaust. To the Stonewall Riots, the decriminalization of homosexuality in Canada, and the subsequent struggle for rights for all queer people.

Living in the city, we often forget how transgressive our everyday lives are. My average day involves countless things I would be unable to do had I never moved to Toronto. Ours all would. Our freedom is built on the backs of those who came before us. Were it not for Drag queens and dykes at Stonewall where would the revolution be? More conservative leaning gay people especially it seems in North America seem to not want Drag Queens, Leather people, or any open displays of blatant sexuality (ie topless dykes or gogo boys in underwear) to be part of Parades. But I am quick to remind people that our own Pride Parade (one of the world’s largest), was all the result of the police raids on bathhouses. What place is a more blatant symbol of our communities sexual freedom? Were it not for the sexually adventurous, what would Pride be like in Toronto? Would it even exist?

We must embrace our freedoms, and just as importantly ALL people in our communities. We should be grateful that we can even have a parade. That it is no longer called a march. We no longer have to climb the steps of Capital Hill demanding some of the most basic rights. So this thanksgiving, remember we all have something to be thankful for!

Thing won’t happen if you don’t take action. What kind of example would I be if I did not take the time to do my own Dream List after previously challenging YOU? How are your lists of dreams coming along? I have heard many people taking charge and making a commitment to writing their list. Feel free to leave yours in the comments below.

Please see the original post HERE:

1: To be the best Coach I can be
2: To live my life to the fullest.
3: To have less need for Love, Affection and Appreciation
4: To own a successful business that helps others be the best they can be.
5: To marry my partner Read the full story

Every once in a while I get burr in my shorts about the way the media reports gay-esque news. I find it interesting the way certain media outlets put certain spins on queer news stories. To wit:

Queer by Numbers

Last week I was listening to the morning news when I heard a story that Toronto Pride was throwing their hat in the ring for Toronto to host 2014 World Pride. What ticked me off was that the report basically said what they say about Pride every year: “it is expected to bring 100 million dollars into the local economy”.

I haven’t been living under a rock the past year, I realize that any positive economic news and stimulus is big news, but this is what gets said every year. I guess it smacks of quantifying and qualifying the “big gay party” to make it digestible to the masses. Read the full story

Recently, I was a guest on the Shaun Proulx Show on Proud Fm. I was there to discuss Saskatchewan possibly making it legal for marriage commissioners to refuse to perform ceremonies for same-sex couples. I was ready for a lively conversation when I had a thought: the Michael Jackson Memorial is being broadcast around the planet…will anyone be listening to us?

I mentioned this to Shaun and Mark Wigmore when I arrived at the studio and we made a bit of a joke about the 6 people who would be tuning in to us. I then said something to the effect, “Well, the world is wallowing in an incredible amount of media-created mourn porn.” We all got a laugh out of that and went on to do the interview.

“The world is wallowing in an incredible amount of media-created mourn porn.”

On the way home I thought about what had inadvertently slipped out of my mouth. Mourn Porn. I then applied it to the crescendo of mourning over Jackson’s death. From the first reports of his cardiac arrest to the very public memorial, this whole thing was very operatic – and pornographic.

I remember when Elvis died. I remember the outpouring of emotion. But I don’t remember nearly two weeks of program-preempting special reports and “coverage”. The same when John Lennon was killed. It was a big news story and a lot of the kids I went to high school with were wearing black arm bands for a couple of days. One of our teachers actually suspended regular class and brought in Beatles and Lennon records (that’s right, I said records!) to listen to his music and discuss his influence on music, pop culture and the peace movement.

However, the Michael Jackson send off was over-the-top. It was Dianaesque. It was even bigger. It’s not that his fans were necessarily acting inappropriately; reaction to the death of a beloved entertainer can have a profound effect of people. It was the media that acted like a rabid Larry Flint. Breaking news updates, TV specials, up-to-the-minute updates on the latest sordid tales (true or not). Then there was the Twitter and Facebook aspect.

Of course, the death of a celebrity is big business. While the media reported on the tragic events that lead up to Jackson’s death with put-on sad faces, they woud perk up when talking about the spectacular album sales that were taking place since his passing, speculating on just how many millions this could bring in.

I think the image burned in brain is that of his daughter Paris on the news this morning. Here is this poor child who has been sheltered from the media her whole life suddenly being thrust into a very public spotlight during the most horrible moment in her life. The audience in the Staples Centre watching her every move and listening to her every strained and emotional word, her family holding her and telling her to speak up, the cameras’ and spotlights’ unrelenting stare as she struggled to speak. The live feed beamed around the planet. It made me sad and very uncomfortable to see – and I didn’t watch it live, I saw the pictures on the news this morning.

Our society, indeed our planet, has an unquenchable thirst for this. We need to wallow in every nuance of someone else’s grief. Therefore the media give us what we want. But what’s the cost? I’ve seen people more distraught over Jackson’s death than they were when a member of their own family died. Is it a cultural zeitgeist? Is it a necessary expression of emotions bourne out of our own fear of death. Is it the media cashing in on the spectacle by putting the camera absolutely everywhere and showing everything raw, bare and uncensored? Or, is it simply the new phenomenon of Mourn Porn?

Yesterday, I was a guest on the Shaun Proulx Show on Proud Fm. I was there to discuss Saskatchewan possibly making it legal for marriage commissioners to refuse to perform ceremonies for same-sex couples. I was ready for a lively conversation when I had a thought: the Michael Jackson Memorial is being broadcast around the planet…will anyone be listening to us?

I mentioned this to Shaun and Mark Wigmore when I arrived at the studio and we made a bit of a joke about the 6 people who would be tuning in to us. I then said something to the effect, “Well, the world is wallowing in an incredible amount of media-created mourn porn.” We all got a laugh out of that and went on to do the interview.

“The world is wallowing in an incredible amount of media-created mourn porn.”

On the way home I thought about what had inadvertently slipped out of my mouth. Mourn Porn. I then applied it to the crescendo of mourning over Jackson’s death. From the first reports of his cardiac arrest to the very public memorial, this whole thing was very operatic – and pornographic.

I remember when Elvis died. I remember the outpouring of emotion. But I don’t remember nearly two weeks of program-preempting special reports and “coverage”. The same when John Lennon was killed. It was a big news story and a lot of the kids I went to high school with were wearing black arm bands for a couple of days. One of our teachers actually suspended regular class and brought in Beatles and Lennon records (that’s right, I said records!) to listen to his music and discuss his influence on music, pop culture and the peace movement.

However, the Michael Jackson send off was over-the-top. It was Dianaesque. It was even bigger. It’s not that his fans were necessarily acting inappropriately; reaction to the death of a beloved entertainer can have a profound effect of people. It was the media that acted like a rabid Larry Flint. Breaking news updates, TV specials, up-to-the-minute updates on the latest sordid tales (true or not). There was the Twitter and Facebook aspect.

Let’s not forget that a celebrity death is big busness as we were constantly reminded by reports of soaring Jackson music and video sales. The fans may be devastated by his death but the music business is cashing in on this guy like it was 1984!

But I think the image burned in brain is that of his daughter Paris on the news this morning. Here is this poor child who has been sheltered from the media her whole life suddenly being thrust into a very public spotlight during the most horrible moment in her life. The audience in the Staples Centre watching her every move and listening to her every strained and emotional word, her family holding her and telling her to speak up, the cameras’ and spotlights’ unrelenting stare as she struggled to speak. The live feed beamed around the planet. It made me sad and very uncomfortable to see – and I didn’t watch it live, I saw the pictures on the news this morning.

Our society, indeed our planet, has an unquenchable thirst for this. We need to wallow in every nuance of someone else’s grief. Therefore the media give us what we want. But what’s the cost? I’ve seen people more distraught over Jackson’s death than they were when a member of their own family died. Is it a cultural zeitgeist? Is it a necessary expression of emotions bourne out of own fear of death. Or is it simply the media cashing in on the spectacle by putting the camera absolutely everywhere and showing everything raw, bare and uncensored? Is it Mourn Porn?