WINTERLICIOUS :: Head for the hills! Yup, that was our mantra as we got ready to head up to Whistler for WinterPRIDE 2012. As some (most) of you sat down for the marathon that was the Super Bowl – or, maybe more accurately, the Halftime show that was Madonna - my wife Laurie and I were aboard a Greyhound bus headed north.

We’ve been to Whistler many times and to WinterPRIDE once for just a couple of days, but this year we’re here from start to finish, diving into all that this alpine celebration of queerdom had to offer.

This is the 20^th anniversary of Gay and Lesbian Ski Week at Whistler and the itinerary is jam-packed with guided ski and snowboard treks, dog sled runs, snowmobile tours, après ski, wine tasting, themed parties; more fun than you can shake a ski pole at.

On top of the queer world at WinterPRIDE / Image courtesy Jennifer Breakspear

PANIC ATTACK :: The nineteenth in a series as we await the release of Madonna’s new album, and, now, a brand new tour.

The press release for Madonna‘s brand new world tour, appropriately named “The Madonna World Tour 2012″, was posted on Billboard.com late last night. Yes, Madonna is coming to Toronto on September 12th, and the ICON Fanclub pre-sale began this morning at 10AM.

Instead of just retyping everything out from the announcement, I’m going to, rather, freak out.

MADONNA IS COMING!

I know I’ve said this several times before, but the feeling that I get when seeing Madonna in concert is a high like no other. Every memory and emotion I’ve ever associated with Madonna, her music, her looks, her videos, her interviews and her voice come flooding back to me when I see her in the flesh (I just got goosebumps typing that). Every time my mother would catch me dancing in my underwear in my bedroom, every time I would stay up all night watching MuchMusic just to see if a Madonna music video might, by chance, be on. Who knew that “Borderline” live would make me breakdown into tears?

Every song has new meaning when performed live – you feel them so much differently. I was definitely in a trance during the show, and the depression that followed for at least two weeks afterwards was horrible. Yes, I’m being dramatic.

I remember waiting five months from the time I bought my tickets to the day of “The Sticky and Sweet Tour” (the highest-grossing solo artist world tour ever!) to the day of the concert. They were the longest five months of my life, but I remember telling myself that I would wait all over again just to have that feeling back.

Today is February 7th. So, that means I have seven months to wait. Although it may seem like a long time, I know it will be worth it, and I know that I will wish one day next year that I could come back to this very moment and wait all over again.

Philip Tetro is our resident Madonnaologist. He’s created a religion-based lifestyle, worshipping everything she’s ever done. You can also catch him as a regular panelist on MTV Canada’s 1 girl 5 gays and read his non-Madonna blog here.

TOUCHDOWN :: The Madonna halftime show at The SuperBowl (“Madonnabowl”) was one of the best performances of all-time. I know people expect my play-by-play, from outfit to hairstyle and song choice to shoes. However, I am not going to do that. That entire twelve minutes and forty seconds of our lives was so electric, energetic, and groundbreaking, that there is nothing I can say that will emphasize anything Madonna hasn’t already. I am just going to give my highlights as I see fit.

So, she lip-synced: big deal. Can we please remember that she wasn’t able to do a sound-check during the game? So, she used a couple of themes that had already been done by other artists in the past: big deal. Can we please remember that all Madonna is doing is showing them who can do it better? So she fell: big deal. Can anyone else come out of a fall so beautifully and with such choreography? No. No they cannot.

The song choices were spot on: album versions of songs with little twists here and there for entertainment. Brand new arrangements would have thrown off the majority of people who just want to hear the hits. I never in my life thought that I would hear the original arrangement of “Vogue” again after over twenty years. Not to mention that entrance with the feathers and choreography and video screens. So much new, brilliant, cutting-edge choreography to learn! Definitely a gay boy’s dream come true.

“Music” was great with the LMFAO inclusion. Fun and quirky, proving that she’s still hot and athletic and “down with it.” Then onto the new single (“Give Me All Your Luvin’”), then a drum-line “Open Your Heart”/”Express Yourself” interlude (which must have been a very last minute addition, because no site ever published those two in the final version of the set-list!). And to finish with “Like a Prayer,” was just brilliant.

High-energy, brand new technology, fresh and current faces to help along the way, and an amazing set-list just prove that Madonna is still the Queen, and will forever be the Queen. It was a visual and audio orgasm, and I keep on cumming.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some voguing to learn.

Here’s one more of my gay boys freaking out over the @NFL half time show! #Madonnabowl lmao!!!!

Feb 5, 2012| Source: Keek.com

My good friend Aliya-Jasmine Sovani sneakily took videos of my reactions during portions of the performance. Here’s one!

Philip Tetro is our resident Madonnaologist who has been following Madonna’s every move since last summer. Read all of Philip’s Madonna Watch posts here.

REACTION :: The seventeenth in a series as we count down to Madonna’s new album release.

If I said I weren’t crying right now, I’d be lying.

Madonna‘s brand new music video for the first single off her upcoming album M.D.N.A, “Give Me All Your Luvin’” featuring Nicki Minaj and M.IA was literally just released minutes ago! Madonna is seen with a gaggle of young football players, protecting her from danger and transporting her from once place to another, and masked cheerleaders walking through city streets.

Hands shaking. Can’t type.

Then the three starlets transform into 60′s-style movie-stars – MADONNA ACTUALLY BECOMING MARILYN MONROE… AGAIN! Short, bleach-blond curls and a VERY short, white dress. BEAUTIFUL.

Madonna looks no older than 30 years old in the video, with a hairstyle reminiscent of a hot, young club-goer, not a 53 year old mother of four. Her body looks amazing, snug in body suits and mid-drift-bearing, skin-tight black two-pieces with leopard-print detailing. The hair, make-up and jewelry is just out of this fucking world!

I’m trembling and shaking and I am about to pee my pants.

Things only a Madonnaologist would be upset with: there is literally no more than three choreographed dance-steps in the entire video. I was really expecting Madonna to blow it out of the park with a huge dance-break. The song is so fun and catchy, I was envisioning myself practicing choreography all day, but there really isn’t much to it. I’ll take Madonna being a hot bitch over dancing any day, though.

Perhaps she’s saving the huge reveal for The SuperBowl and this is her warm up? Actually, that’s exactly what she’s doing!

Give someone all your luvin’ while I go memorize Madonna’s walking patterns in the video. Oh! And watch it yourselves!

Philip Tetro is our resident Madonnaologist. He’s created a religion-based lifestyle, worshipping everything she’s ever done. You can also catch him as a regular panelist on MTV Canada’s 1 girl 5 gays and read his non-Madonna blog here.

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POSE :: The sixteenth in a series as we count down to Madonna’s new album release.More news in Madonnaland this week: TMZ has published pictures of Madonna’s multiple stages for her highly anticipated SuperBowl performance this Sunday, February 5^th.

The pictures include laser-lighting, smoke, screens, and the word Vogue is clearly visible in one of the shots. The rumoured set-list includes other chart-toppers, such as “Hung Up,” “Ray of Light,” and, of course, the new single “Give Me All Your Luvin’.”

In case you don’t know, “Vogue” is one of my favourite Madonna songs ever! It’s a song about losing inhibitions, expressing yourself, being true to where you’ve come from, coming together, and, most importantly, dancing. Take a look for yourself!

Philip Tetro is our resident Madonnaologist. He’s created a religion-based lifestyle, worshipping everything she’s ever done. You can also catch him as a regular panelist on MTV Canada’s 1 girl 5 gays and read his non-Madonna blog here.

THE ANTICIPATION OF PHILY :: The fifteenth in a series as we count down to Madonna’s new album release. The music video for “Give Me All Your Luvin’” featuring Nicki Minaj and M.I.A will be released in its entirety on Madonna’s YouTube channel this Friday, February 3rd.

THIS IS THE FIRST MADONNA MUSIC VIDEO IN FOUR YEARS, Y’ALL.

American Idol will be previewing a clip of the video the night before to entice the audience (gays), and as pure marketing genius will have it, the single will be released exclusively to iTunes the next day, as well as the pre-order of the album (to be released March 26th), and a limited-edition remix.

Pardon me while I wipe away my orgasm and enjoy this playlist, Madonna :: The Celebration we created on Rdio:

Philip Tetro is our resident Madonnaologist. He’s created a religion-based lifestyle, worshipping everything she’s ever done. You can also catch him as a regular panelist on MTV Canada’s 1 girl 5 gays and read his non-Madonna blog here.

 

M.D.N.A, of course.

Madonna made a pre-taped appearance on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno last night (January 30^th). She was wearing black, of course – it’s rare for Madonna to wear anything but (minus huge premieres, galas, or The Graham Norton Show a few weeks back). She was fun and flirty, she made jokes, and she talked about everything people wanted to hear: The SuperBowl (“the most nerve-wracking thing” she’s ever done), W.E, her children (and how they criticize her music), and, of course – M.D.N.A. Her dress was shimmery, her eyes were shimmery, and her mood was great! She looked thirty years old, and this promotion was exactly what she needed to entice the world for the biggest week of the year thus far: the brand new music video premieres in its entirety Friday, as well as the iTunes exclusive download of “Give Me All Your Luvin’,” The Anderson Cooper show, The SuperBowl press conference, and then the biggest performance of Madonna’s career.

Not to mention the fact that at 2:17 AM this morning, Madonna’s official Facebook page, out of nowhere, posted the album cover for M.D.N.A. I shall let it speak for itself because if I go on about how beautiful she looks and how great this new era is, we’d be here forever.

This must feel like what the disciples felt when Jesus gave them bread.

Take this, all of you, and eat it.

More Madonna Watch

Cover Girl: The art for the first single, Give Me All Your Luvin'

AUDIO :: In celebration of the big fat week Madonna has ahead of her, what with Jay Leno Monday, an American Idol sneak peek of the new video for the first single off of MDNA (“Give Me All Your Luvin’ feat Nicki Minaj and M.I.A.), the digital release of the single Friday on iTunes and as a YouTube video at 9am ET, culminating with her Super Bowl half time performance Sunday, we asked our resident Madonnaologist Philip Tetro to curate an Rdio playlist of Madonna songs that didn’t get the attention they deserved from radio:

- TheGayGuideNetwork

More Madonna Watch

American Idol preview of the preview:

 

DIVA :: This past weekend, I celebrated mine and my best friend Jason Yantha’s birthday at a place called Vogue Supperclub (of course). It was a huge celebration that we had been planning for weeks and, being the narcissistic asshole that I am, I wanted it to be perfect. I wanted balloons and a big cake with our faces on it, and a private venue, and circus acts, and nude male servers, and gold-leaf paper invitations. Yes, I seriously wanted all of those things, but I don’t know any circus people and my stripper friends were busy (this was a Saturday, afterall). My parents got the big cake that I wanted, but not the balloons.

Who has a party without balloons? So, of course, I took out my anger on my mother who, from experience, knew that helium balloons pop easily in the cold and didn’t want to risk all of them popping between Mississauga and Toronto.

RELATED :: Philip Tetro takes his birthday really bloody seriously.

That excuse didn’t fly with me. It was my fucking birthday. So, right away, I was in a bad mood. Over balloons.

Cut to less than an hour later and my friends showing up with balloons. Elmo and Thomas the Tank Engine balloons, but balloons no less. I couldn’t have been more thrilled and more apologetic to my mother. Mind you, by that point, I was ten tequila shots in and don’t remember much else from the night.

It just goes to show that if you once you let go of a “problem,” it solves itself. Lesson learned. All else I can recall are visions dancing, taking shots, drinking, laughing, crying, eating cake, crying, drinking, and crying. It was one of the best nights of my life. The best gift that I got was the surprise return of my roommate and friend Chris who came from Montreal just for Jason and me. I was wondering why my friends (who were hiding him from us) were acting weird all day. It was all so worth it, and I couldn’t be happier.

Like Madonna says, birthdays are a time to reflect and be grateful for everything you have. She’s right. If only half of the good things that happened to me at 22 years happen while I’m 23, I could not be happier. But I know that I will only be blessed with having a million more reasons to be even more grateful and appreciative this year. I’m a lucky girl!

Anyone know where they sell gold-leaf paper invitations?

Philip Tetro is not only a GGT blogger, but our resident Madonnaologist. He’s created a religion-based lifestyle, worshipping everything she’s ever done. Read his countdown to the new Madonna album here. Read more Philip Tetro here. You can also catch him as a regular panelist on MTV Canada’s 1 girl 5 gays.