The following is a response to a piece written by Stephen Lane of Oxballs. Oxballs is a company that makes insertables as well as various cock and ball toys made of high grade silicone. The piece was published on Leatherati.com and can be viewed here.

Let me open saying this. I agree with you in one regard. The comments you make about the IML Barebacking Ban and the inclusion of bestiality porn in the vendor market are incredibly valid. But I am not writing this in order to agree with you. So lets get on to where our opinions differ.

You say it isn’t right for a trans person to enter a contest for men. You complain that it would be unfair for example you to enter a contest intended for lesbians and take the title. That both your hypothetical actions and those very real actions of my brother Tyler deprive someone more deserving of a title. International Mr. Leather is a contest for men. They have clear definitions of what constitutes someone of male gender. Tyler very obviously fits those requirements. Your point is all but moot, no? Your own transphobia is showing.

You say that inclusion only goes so far. That we have to draw the line somewhere. Your going to withdraw your support from all groups and organizations that don’t have the “balls” to get lesbian and trans individuals out? Go ahead. Feel free. Do you think those organizations who support inclusion really want the money from a bigot? You say “This is the leather community’s Sarah Palin…just in leather.” I am assuming you mean to say that we have chosen a figure head which exemplifies the worst in our community? Much like when Republicans chose her as their VP candidate? I think the comparison would be more apt were we to of chosen a pig headed, bigoted asshole such as your self to represent us. Someone who exemplifies our worst points?

I will applaud you for one thing. You are willing to take such a big risk associated your incredibly popular products with your own bullshit views. You could have left an anonymous comment. You could of bitched to your friends. But you chose to publish your opinions for all to see. Bravo. It takes a lot of balls to do that.

I won’t be supporting your company and I will ask my friends to do the same. So go burn your leather and hang out with the Rubber guys.

Last season Rudsak (http://www.rudsak.com) paid homage to the jet set life of the 60s and exchanged sex for, well a more conservative look. The Spring 10 collection, which most gay men salivate over, frankly left them a little disinterested. I was invited backstage to meet he designer Evik Asatoorian. In my “bull in a china shop” style of fashion journalism I asked, “Evik where the sex?” A little taken aback be blinked and asked, “what do you mean?” I explained, “Evik Rudsak is known for their extremely sexy menswear, so where the sex?” He explained that Spring  10 was a more conservative look for men and he wanted more style or sex. For Fall 10 the  sex is back at Rudsak.

Sitting at the Rudsak show I was a little more skeptical than usual. Frankly I wanted to see hot sex go down the runway. From the minute the lights went down and the runway was ablaze, I wasn’t disappointed. The sex came back big time and went off to war. Taking from the military theme at many of the Toronto collections, Asatoorian brought back the sex with three-quarter length belted coats, hot leather and fabric pants with the leather in the inseam, military hats and boots. In short, it was freakin’ sexy.

After the show, I went backstage and bowed in Asatoorian’s presence. In a media scrum people RAVED about collection. When it came my turn to meet with him I gave him a hug and congratulated him on a job well done. I asked him what brought the sex back? In short he replied, Montreal gay men. They have been working the military look since December and Asatoorian spun it in his own unique way. If you want to new spin on military you should be heading into the Rudsak boutique on Queen Street West around August 2010.

A taste of Rudsak Fall 10

Rudsak's Evik Asatoorian

Lube is somewhat of a staple for Gay men. Unlike with Straight people, who often can go long stretches without even having it as a consideration. Butt fucking and lube are the perfect combo, and so every guy top or bottom tends to have a little something in the night stand. More importantly, a good lubricant can make the experience more enjoyable AND help prevent condoms breaking! Sore asses should only result from long nights with big cocks, not from friction! So let’s gather round for a quick tutorial on shopping for lube.

Lesson #1No one likes a cheap bitch: The lube that comes in those ketchup packets is an in case of emergency/better then spit situations…. While they lube is good for what it is (free and widely available), it is a wee bit tacky to have a nice date end in the guy pulling out a packet of lube. Your cock isn’t a french fry, ditch the individual servings….

Lesson #2 In the event you should find yourself in Kansas: Buying lube at the drug store is a 3 o clock in the morning thing. If it isn’t a I need it right this moment situation, go to a sex store. Preferably a gay owned and operated one (this is mostly a shitty economy help the community out thing). Sex stores sell a much wider range of lube, often at better prices, and the sales staff can be quite helpful!

Lesson #3You Better Shop Around: Try different types! Don’t just stick to that one brand cause its cheap and does the job. Try a few little bottles of different types. You never know what you could be missing out on. You don’t only eat at one restaurant cause you know its not awful. Why use the same lube for the next 10 years cause it didn’t give you a rash!

Lesson #4Buy in Bulk: Once you have tried out a few different types and know what you like and don’t like, buy bigger bottles. It is pretty much across the board cheaper for the bigger bottles then the little testers. If you feel the need to appear dainty, keep the smaller bottle and simply refill it from the big bottle. Think of it like shopping at Costco for your genitals. The money saved can go in your piggy bank!

Lesson #5 Avoid using lubes that warm, tingle or claim to increase sensation. They might not bother your cock, but your trick’s ass might not be a fan of a burning tingling sensation…

Silicone, Water or Oil? What does it all mean?

There are usually three groups lubes can be put into. Silicone based, water based and oil based. Each has their own merits for different purposes. For actual sex you are going to want to stick to either silicone or water. Oil based lubes will destroy latex condoms. Oil based lubes are only really called for when jerking off (Elbow Grease) or for heavy ass play such as fisting (Slam Dunk).

Water based lube is what MOST lubes on the market are made of. They are primarily made of water and a few other ingredients to make them lube. They tend to me less expensive, easy to clean up, and safe for use with any kind of toy. But on the downside, our bodies tend to draw water into our skin, leaving us sticky and otherwise  un lubed. This can be remedied by applying more lube, and with brands such as Probe a simple addition of some water (spit works well for this). But with anal sex, the last thing you want is your lube drying out part way through your pounding.

This brings us to silicone. Not just the realm of luscious tranny’s and their surgically enhanced selves! Silicone lube contains no water, so it doesn’t get sucked up into the skin. This means you use less, have less need to re apply, and can spend more time making with the sexy times. People often avoid silicone, mainly because of misconceptions. A good chunk of people think it isn’t condom safe (it is actually what comes on a lubed condom). Many others find the price a problem. But if you consider how much less you use, it really makes sense. It is the perfect lube for sodomizing! And as a bonus: when it does eventually dry out, it leaves your skin feeling soft and smooth! And most brands also lack ANY flavour AND are hypoallergenic!

So go hence fourth and get yourself some lube! Because nothing scares a bottom more then when you pull out a bottle of crap you bought at the Rexall 4 years ago!!

So some pretty insane stuff has happened in my life since my last post. Over this past weekend, I became the youngest Mr. Leatherman Toronto in the history of the competition. For those non leather readers out there this is a pretty big deal. This means a year chock full of appearances, travel, hard work and a ton of charity involvement. MLT is one of the most well respected titles in North America, and to have it represented by someone so young says alot about the direction that the community is going in.

It has already opened so many doors, and will give me the opportunity to further myself personally and to represent Toronto on an International scale. And I would like to take a moment to indulge myself and thank some people who I neglected to mention in various other public forums over the course of the days following. I would first and foremost like to thank my Mom. Followed quite quickly by three people whom I would not of even been a title holder without, Carolyn Kelly, Jack Pearce & McG who helped set me on this path. Ed & Dean for being such amazing title sponsors. Matt Pavelich & Fenn for your continuing support in the face of the competition and now my title year. To my class of 2010, I owe you so much. I learned so much competing against such great guys. Shaun Proulx for the confidence to believe in my voice. Corey Breau for being so young and doing so much with the title. Brendan McGovern even though we barely just met, your coming in 2nd at IML was more inspiration then you can imagine. And to the judging panel, for taking the much more controversial road of appointing a 22 year old as Toronto’s ambassador to the community. And especially Peter Kincheloe for his incredibly kind words. And a huge thanks to Bryan, who I don’t think ever realized that this painfully shy young man would end up where I stand today. And of course to Ray Hayhurst for biscuits.

I look forward to taking this title to all kinds of events throughout the year. To hosting some amazing fundraisers. And working with Mr. Leather Fellowship Devin Thompson & Toronto Bootblack bootboy digger to do some amazing work in the community this year.

So I haven’t blogged in an almost heinous amount of time. And as such I am going to do a redux of some of the things I would have been blogging about had I not been so busy with my numerous other engagements.

Become Part of the Tribe

A few weeks have passed since Northbound Leather’s annual Fetish Extravaganza, but the images are still quite fresh in my head. The fashion show, this year was told in a narrative form seeing a young initiate as he goes through a series of trials to become a full fledged member of a very kinky tribe. Marty Rotman and  his team truly out did themselves with this one. Not only were the fashions mind blowing (Ranging from Mad Max to CBGB to Ancient Africa to Vampires), the over all exploration of the different roots of kink and fetish were so inspired and well produced. It was as if the over all underlying message was one of normalization. That these things all have their roots in other cultures. The theme of Tribe was the perfect one. That no matter our kinks we all stand together as part of a tribe. A chosen family.

You Are Still In The Running To Be The Next Mr. Leatherman Toronto…

So one of the reasons I have been so busy is that I am now a title holder in the leather community. Through a series of odd and somewhat controversial events I ended up becoming Mr. Woody’s Priape.  As such, I have been attending alot of events in the community, making appearances etc. I am having so much fun, and it has really gotten be back into being involved in the community. After all my younger leather friends moved away I kind of just didn’t have the energy to brave going out alone and making new leather friends. And already I have found some amazing friends in my fellow 2o1o title holders. And a week from today begins the MLT weekend, with the Mama Does Toronto party at the Black Eagle. The excitement well out ways the nerves in all of this. And I hope to see you the reader at some of these events (the full list can be found here). And don’t forget that none other then Shaun Proulx will be hosting the contest along with David Kloss (The first Mr. International Leather). They hosted last year and did a fabulous job, and will surely continue to amaze.

I also am one of the youngest (if not the youngest) contestants in MLT history. In a class of some of the youngest title holders (only 2 are over 3o). So wish me luck! Also don’t forget to check out the Toronto Bootblack Contest a the Black Eagle the afternoon of the 28th.

I reccently had a conversation with a co worker, in which she asked me “what are you?”. She followed this up with an explanation that she meant where did I fall within the categorizations of gay men. She had been having a conversation with a friend and mentioned me. When pressed to describe me, her friend asked what I was? A twink, bear, jock, art fag? This kind of categorization is not only incredibly delicate but at times pointless. My feelings on this topic may also come from my own inability to neatly fit into a certain category in the gay community. Read the full story