We’ll cut to the chase. Any man who can invent a condiment called bacon jam is in our book beyond worthy. Chef Joshua Henderson is our Man of the Hour and takes  TMI Questionnaire. Read it while enjoying grilled cheese sandwiches with bacon jam, brussel sprouts sauteed in bacon jam, potatoes mashed with bacon jam, while making love in bacon jam. Bacon jam.

JUST THE FACTS

I’m a: Libra.
I’m: 39 years old.
I was born: Yes, I was.
I: Am a chef.
My fave colour: Dark blue.
Passion: Creating.
Inspiration: My boy, Huck, and my wife, Kelli.
My Canadian icon is: Poutine.
Fantasy entourage: Mario Batali and Jamie Oliver.
Irresistible in a mate: Humour.
I’m currently crushing on: My son…or Kate Beckinsale.
Fictional best friend: Brad Pitt
Turn-on: Sarcasm
Phrase I most overuse: “Whats up, dude?”
Most people would be surprised to know I: Majored in voice for my undergrad.
Talent I wish I had: I wish I was better at drawing.
The celebrity I most closely resemble is: Sidney Poitier.
The one word my best friend would use to describe me is: Driven.
My parents wanted me to be this when I grew up: Probably just happy.
When I order a cocktail I ask for: Whiskey.

GUILTY PLEASURES

TV: Any chef show.
Song: Dancing to Katy Perry with my son.
Greatest extravagance: Good beer.
Candy: Red vines.
Last impulse-purchase: iPad.
Last regretted purchase: Pair of jeans from Levis, they are so fucking hard to make fit right.

WEAR APPARENT

Jeans: Levis.
Footwear: Adidas.
Underwear: J Crew, Boxers.
Watch: None.
Eyewear: geekwear – thick frames.
Casual: J Crew.
Formal: Usually not.
Cologne: None, but sometimes a sandlewood oil.

BEAUTY DUTY

Shampoo: Soap and soap.
Face wash: More soap.
Moisturizer: Fryer oil in the kitchen.
Body Lotion: See above.
Make-Up Line: Burns from cooking.
Indulgence: A $400 Japanese knife.

GOTTA GETTA GADGET

Gadgets: iPhone
On my music player now: Run DMC.
Best app ever: The iPhone Level.

CULTURE VULTURE

Last book read: The Steve Jobs biography.
Last movie seen: Drive.
Last concert: U2.
Last play: Can’t remember.
Last song sung in the shower: Probably a Christmas song…

OBSESSIONS

Current obsession: Communal table.
Past obsession: Cooking in the desert.
Future obsession: A farm.

CRYSTAL BALL

The next big thing will be: High-end fast food.
I see myself in this place in ten years: Living on a farm.

AND FINALLY …

Words of wisdom: Have the courage to be humble.

Henderson’s savoury Skillet Original Bacon Spread is available at All the Best Fine Foods.

Alright, there are a lot of people complaining that they find Twitter boring. And understandably. With only 140 characters to work with, it’s usually just the facts on Twitter.

I call it Facebook Lite. Twitter is like the Blackberry of social media while Facebook is the iPhone. No wonder long-winded, game playing Facebook types find Twitter boring. It’s just them and their friends. No distractions.

I say mix it up. Don’t follow your friends on Twitter! Most of them probably suck anyway! Start following the alphabet soup of celebrity lists. A, B, C and, yes, D-listers are SO gonna be more fun than your friends.

Trust me. This is why I follow Cher. On Twitter there’s no beads, no wigs, no makeup. It’s just Cher, and this bitch is crazy! Spelling mistakes and all!

- Richard Ryder is never boring on Twitter. (He spells right, two.)

Photo: David Leyes

As she gets set to host the 9th annual Funny Girls and Dynamic Divas, Elvira Kurt, funny and dynamic but never a diva, becomes our latest Woman of the Hour and spills the personal stuff as she takes our TMI Questionnaire:

JUST THE FACTS

I’m a: Sadge born in the year of the Ox, just like my mother…which pretty much explains everything.
I’m: 49. For those of you who Googled ‘Year of the Ox’ and ruled out 1961, “On looks alone, she had to be born in 1973…”, it’s true and I’m as pleasantly shocked as you are. For those of you that considered 1949, well, fuck you.
I was born: Same day as Donny Osmond, Judi Dench and Margaret Hamilton, my gay cup overfloweth…
I: Comedy.
My fave colour: Not to sound pretentious but I’m partial to coqelicot or puniceous, depending on my mood. I also like blue.
Passion: Yes, but only after the kids are asleep.
Fantasy entourage: Bugs Bunny, Alison Bechdel, Janelle Monae, and David Sedaris.
Turn-ons: Someone who likes bra and comic book shopping.
Irresistible in a mate: Must love sushi.
Phrase I most overuse: “Get me my fascinator, dammit!”
Most people would be surprised to know I: have followed them home and know where they live…
Fictional best friend: Hopey from ‘Love and Rockets’
Talent I wish I had: Knowing when to keep my mouth shut.
When I order a cocktail I ask for: Cold beer in a frosty mug.

GUILTY PLEASURES

TV: Million Dollar Listing
Song: Whatever was on last week’s Glee.
Greatest extravagance: Royal wedding memorabilia

WEAR APPARENT

Jeans: Low rise, any brand.
Footwear: Vans, Frye Erin Oxford.
Watch: iPhone.
Eyewear: On the Rachel Maddow continuum.
Casual: Value Village, Boys Dept.
Formal: Value Village, Boys Suits Dept.
Perfume/Cologne: Does Speedstick count?

BEAUTY DUTY

Shampoo: From last hotel.
Face wash: L’eau de bathroom tap.
Moisturizer: Kiss My Ass for the Face.
Body Lotion: Kiss My Face for the Ass.
Indulgence: Kiehl’s Avocado Eye Cream, also tasty on burritos.

GOTTA GETTA GADGET

Gadgets: Badly want noise cancelling headphones, esp. on rainy weekends at home with the teeny-tinys…
On my music player now: Yo Gabba Gabba, Backyardigans, Sho Mo and the Monkey Bunch, Amazon Thirty-Five, Wavin’ Flag.
I always PVR: Reality shows and FF to the ‘so bad it’s good’ parts.

CULTURE VULTURE

Last book read: World of Archie Double Digest #5.
Last movie seen: Rio
Last concert: Senior Kindergarten Spring Concert in Leslieville (f**kin’ rocked!).
Last play: Vagina Monologues at Mother Teresa Middle School.

OBSESSIONS

Current obsession: Self-improvement.
Past obsession: Self-sabotage.
Future obsession: Self-satisfaction.

CRYSTAL BALL

The next big thing will be: Sending tweets with only your mind.

AND FINALLY …

Words of wisdom: Always make a hard copy!

FUNNY GIRLS AND DYNAMIC DIVAS, a music and comedy cabaret! It will be an evening to remember…an incredible silent auction, fabulous food and great company!

Funny Girls & Dynamic Divas will be held June 2nd at the Jane Mallett Theatre. Reception starts at 6 PM. Show time is 7:30 PM.

Hosted by two-time Gemini nominee Elvira Kurt, the line-up features comedians Laurie Elliot and Sabrina Jalees, and musical acts Sarah Slean, Maiko Watson and Alejandra Ribera. Each singer will be backed by the all-female HotHouse Band led by Evelyne Datl.

Tickets available from Sistering 416.926.9762 ext.243 or the St. Lawrence Centre box office 416.366.7723 or www.stlc.com

For more info, visit:  www.sistering.org/events

We have every episode of 1 Girl 5 Gays on our DVR and are always surprised (and sometimes in awe) of the things that our Man of the Hour says! Meet the always controversial, Matt Barker!

JUST THE FACTS

I’m a Pisces.

I’m 21.

I was born on March 10th 1990.

I am an Entertainer, Club and Television Personality.

My fave colour: Black, Gun Metal Gray

Passion: Entertainment and Creative Expression

Fantasy entourage: Matt Sims, RuPaul, James St James, and Michael Alig

Turn-ons: Baseball Hats, Tattoos, and BMWs

Irresistible in a mate: Money, Maturity, and Independance

Phrase I most overuse: “Going through it” “Tranny” “Fierce” “Wherq”

Most people would be surprised to know I: am EXTREMLY sensitive

Fictional best friend: Don’t need one! My best friend is Matt Sims. He is my mentor and everything I need in a best friend.

Talent I wish I had: To Dance

When I order a cocktail I ask for: I don’t, I ask for Triple Vodka on the rocks

GUILTY PLEASURES

TV: 1Girl5Gays, Ancient Aliens, Golden Girls

Song: BLOW by KESHA

Greatest extravagance: Porn Culture

WEAR APPARENT

Jeans: Nudi Black Skinnies

Footwear: Army Boots of ANY make (except ALDO)

Watch: Michael Kors

Eyewear: Ray Ban or Prada

Casual: Ben Sherman head to toe

Formal: Fitted Jacked with my NUDI skinnies

Perfume / Cologne: WOOD by DSquared

BEAUTY DUTY

Shampoo: Tresume

Face wash: Don’t need it- my skin is flawless.

Moisturizer: -don’t use

Body Lotion: -don’t use

Indulgence: XY Skin Care

GOTTA GETTA GADGET

Gadgets I love and / or covet: Black on Black BMW, iPhone.

On my music player now: BLOW Kesha

I always PVR: CELEBRITY APPRENTICE

CULTURE VULTURE

Last book read: The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell

Last movie seen: HANNA

Last concert: – Never been to a concert

Last play: – I was in a play that I had to be completely naked in. I never watched it… and I never watch plays because I get to scared for them because I feel like they are going to screw up at any second.

OBSESSIONS

Current obsession: The Gym and Suppressing my appetite

Past obsession: My Boyfriend

Future obsession: My Career

CRYSTAL BALL

The next big thing will be: Pop Tribal music, and interactive parties that are connected to television and celebrity culture.

AND FINALLY …

Words of wisdom: This is going to sound SO cliché, but its something I live for. “Keep Dreaming and Keep Going”. Be strong and love everyone- even the haters.

I have been developing a weekly party at COBRA NIGHTCLUB [510 King W]. My party is called Z-list. It’s a WEDNESDAY night event that combines Straight and Gay into 1 Super power party. Z-list is easily one of the most talked about nights in Toronto and is quickly becoming a substitute for gays that have been apart of The Barn’s famous College Night Party. Gays are starting to venture to the west and I have a home ready for them. You can see photos at http://www.z-list.com.

We love movies and we love funny girls, so we had to ask the very entertaining movie reviewer our TMI Questionnaire!

JUST THE FACTS

I’m an Aries.

I’m 24.

I was born in Toronto.

I am a film reviewer, freelance writer and PR.

My fave colour is Grey.

Passion: Film.

Fantasy entourage: I’m way too waspy/twee to answer that.

Turn-ons: Confidence.

Irresistible in a mate: Wit.

Phrase I most overuse: I’m told there’s no phrase but a series of facial expressions…(like a living GIF?).

Most people would be surprised to know I: am a camping virgin. It’s a big deal, I’m waiting for the right man to come along.

Fictional best friend: My entourage would be April from TMNT, Daria from Daria and Joan of Arc from Clone High.

Talent I wish I had: To jazz out the double bass.

When I order a cocktail I ask for a Vodka soda, half the ice and lose the straw.

GUILTY PLEASURES

TV: When I’m not falling for James McNulty’s alluring self-destruction on The Wire I’m judging the ladies of The Real Housewives (perferrably Beverly Hills).

Song: Rihanna “What’s My Name”/Big Boi “General Patton”

Greatest extravagance: Criterion DVDs/almond butter

WEAR APPARENT

Jeans: Yes please.

Footwear: What my friend calls “fugly ankle boots” or massively high wedges.

Watch: Vintage Rolex (thanks Grandma).

Eyewear: Burberry spectacles or Ray Ban aviators when I get my act together and wear contacts.

Casual: Jeans/high waisted skirt, t-shirt.

Formal: Anything that’s strapeless/backless/shamless.

Perfume / Cologne: No thanks, I sneeze.

BEAUTY DUTY

Shampoo: Pantene Pro-V.

Face wash: Oxy Pads (yes, I am a 13 years old).

Moisturizer: Clinique (you know, the yellow one).

Body Lotion: Satsuma Body Butter.

Indulgence: Chanel nail polishes and YSL Red Muse lipstick.

GOTTA GETTA GADGET

Gadgets I love and / or covet: My Mac festish objects (iPhone, MacBook).

On my music player now: Fucked Up/The Strokes/Yuck/Chiddy Bang

I always PVR: Don’t own that acronym.

CULTURE VULTURE

Last book read: I Drink for a Reason, David Cross

Last movie seen: RIVERS AND MY FATHER (dir. Lou Li) at the opening of Images Festival (this answer will be out of date in 3 hours).

Last concert: J Mascis, with Kurt Vile opening.

Last play: Montparnasse at Theatre Passe Muraille.

OBSESSIONS

Current obsession: Use of sound in film (#nerd).

Past obsession: Use of sound in film (#nerd).

Future obsession: A dude who’s into the use of sound in film (#nerdlove).

CRYSTAL BALL

The next big thing will be: Flare jeans.

AND FINALLY …

Words of wisdom: “Nothing you’ve told me with today is worth getting worked up over.” – My role model/perspective checker

Kiva Reardon writes for the Torontoist, CriticizeThis.ca, Shedoesthecity.com and blogs in between. You can see for yourself here diegeticsound.com or follow her mini musings on twitter: @kiva_jane

This ShambledRambler is a Cancer, was born in Niagra and curses like a sailor. Kristen Goetz is our Woman of the Hour!

JUST THE FACTS

I’m a Cancer. Moody, stubborn, and infinitely awesome.

I’m 27.

I was born: In a distant galaxy. It’s called Niagara.

I write, create, and curse like a sailor.

My fave colour: Red.

Passion: I have a passion for passion itself. And Big Macs.

Fantasy entourage: Archie, Jughead, Betty, Veronica… yeah, I should’ve been born in Riverdale.

Turn-ons: Honesty, confidence, and someone that just friggin’ “gets it”.

Irresistible in a mate: A heartbeat. I find it very important.

Phrase I most overuse: “Ah, f$&@k”

Most people would be surprised to know I: am terrified of scary movies. I’m the biggest chickenshit. But I’ll still beat you up! Grr.

Fictional best friend: You. All of you.

Talent I wish I had: Either to be able to draw (I even suck at stick figures. Sticks are complicated.), or the ability to play any intstrument that I pick up. I’d be a one-chick band.

When I order a cocktail I ask for: Beer. Which is not a cocktail. But we can pretend, can’t we?

GUILTY PLEASURES

TV: Kardashians. Whichever ones. They make me feel better about being poor and smart.

Song: “I Whip My Hair Back & Forth”. Catchy summabitch it is.

Greatest extravagance: That hooker in Vegas. Um.. I mean… my TV?

WEAR APPARENT

Jeans: Old and ripped.

Footwear: Boot-tastic or dog-walk friendly.

Watch: Broken.

Eyewear: Does mascara count?

Casual: Nah, I like to be monogamous…

Formal: Prom dress. Still fits.

Perfume / Cologne: A discontinued vanilla that I’ve been hoarding over the years.

BEAUTY DUTY

Shampoo: Dove for colour-treated hair.

Face wash: Aveeno

Moisturizer: Dove or Neutrogena

Body Lotion: Ah, hell… I have a dept store worth. All kinds.

Indulgence: Conditioners. I collect ‘em like stamps. Or men.

GOTTA GETTA GADGET

Gadgets: I know most disagree, but I do like my BlackBerry. I just can’t type on those damn iPhones.

On my music player now: Radiohead and Faith No More.

I always PVR: Nothing. I don’t have one. Does downloading count?

CULTURE VULTURE

Last book read: re-read Chuck Klosterman IV.

Last movie seen: Clueless was on TV the other day. Oh, Cher.

Last concert: The Pack AD, but that was more of a “show”. Last concert? I couldn’t tell you the names of the bands.

Last play: I sadly can’t remember.

OBSESSIONS

Current obsession: Food! Beer!

Past obsession: Food! Beer!

Future obsession: Food! Beer! And maybe a dude.

CRYSTAL BALL

The next big thing will be: Me, baby.

AND FINALLY …

Words of wisdom: “Don’t make someone a priority if they only make you an option. They do this because they suck. And sucky people suck.”

You can find further nonsensical bullcrap over at my blog Shambled Ramblings. But only if ya wanna.

Our Man of the Hour is one of the most recognized faces in the Toronto party scene. Check out Matt Sims’ TMI Questionnaire below and if you attend one of his fab parties, tell him we sent you.

JUST THE FACTS

I’m a Cancer Leo cusp.

I’m 23.

I was born: Kingston, ON

I am an Event Producer.

My fave colour: Red

Passion: The idea of creating a shared experience through multi-media art forms.

Fantasy entourage: ME ME ME!

Turn-ons: guys who are independent, who have dark features & guys who are expressive and look like real life anime characters

Irresistible in a mate: someone who fucking gets me and who isn’t diluted by the crazy party life and image.

Phrase I most overuse: Dope!

Most people would be surprised to know I: have a musical background – For my whole teens and childhood I played piano, the violin, studied classical composition & I was in the choir.

Fictional best friend:  Ziggy Stardust

Talent I wish I had: the ability to approach guys

When I order a cocktail I ask for: cocktail? I ask for 2 shots of tequila!

GUILTY PLEASURES

TV: Skins and Keeping Up With the Kardashians

Song: Inside Out by Britney Spears

Greatest extravagance: going to the Opera

WEAR APPARENT

Jeans: Cheap Mondays or Diesel

Footwear: Anything that I can kick somebody with.

Watch: My iPhone

Eyewear: Well pretend that I still have my 3 pairs of missing Ray Bands.

Casual: black skinny jeans and a T-Shirt, silver neclace

Formal: bow-tie

Perfume / Cologne: Dsquared Wood

BEAUTY DUTY

Shampoo: any purple shampoo for Blondes

Face wash: Clinique

Moisturizer: Clinique

Body Lotion: St. Ives

Indulgence: Teeth Whitening

GOTTA GETTA GADGET

Gadgets:  iPhone & my Mac

On my music player now:  Britney Spears’ new album on repeat and video game music

I always PVR: Celebrity Rehab & Skins

CULTURE VULTURE

Last book read: If You’re Gonna Cry Go Outside by: Kelly Cutrone

Last movie seen: Battle of Los Angeles

Last concert: Die Antwoord

Last play: We had a Christmas Pageant at the office

OBSESSIONS

Current obsession: Hey Rebel!

Past obsession: Hey Rebel!

Future obsession: Hey Rebel!

CRYSTAL BALL

The next big thing will be: I think for the next couple of years viral videos will drive pop-culture itself and musically I think Dupstep will become much more mainstream. After that we will have a new, more electronic incarnation of rock music which will become really popular like it did in the 90s.

AND FINALLY …

Words of wisdom: Don’t be a drag just be a queen!

Tonight is the largest party brand I’ve ever created called Hey Rebel. It’s an all ages mega party geared towards alternative youth. It’s the only party of its kind in all of Canada and tonight is our March Break edition at Lot 332. You can find more details, the full flyer and ticket info @ heyrebel.com.

Get your undies in a bunch! Priape Toronto’s new manager is our Man of the Hour this week! Sexy! Check out Michael Schelt’s TMI Questionnaire!

Read the full story

Going to Scotiabank Nuit Blanche?  There’s an APP for that!

I know you have Grindr on your phone. Don’t even lie! So instead of feeling embarrassed, own the fact that you have the iPhone/BlackBerry application installed and get your butt to The Barn for There Goes The Neighborhood tonight! Meet fellow Grindr users and grind…together.