Well my crazy schedule has finally calmed down! Here I sit with fingers on the keyboard and Stoli on ice eager to update you all on what has been happening since our last chat. Where shall I begin? Maybe I’ll begin with Heroine Marks’ Mild Inconvenience of the Day. I have two today!

1. Gingers who try to look hot.

No matter how hard you try, its just not happening. Please stop! Especially you, Lindsay.

2. Britney Spear’ Telephone Demo.

For those of you who don’t know, Telephone was originally pitched to Britney. Her label turned it down. Well, her demo version of the song has been leaked. If you haven’t heard, have a listen. Yikes! Click here.

Moving on…

-I recently was involved in a cooking show set to air later this year on a sister network of W. I won’t give too much away, but I can assure you eating in drag is not attractive! I had a lot of fun on the set, but probably gained 10 lbs. Why must craft services be so tempting?

-Last week, my best gal pal Zanna scored two free tickets to a food and wine tasting at the reference library on Yonge. I can cross off ‘Being drunk in a library’ on my list of things to do before I die. We sampled different appetizers from local restaurants and voted on which restaurant should win. We really just went for the free wine, and boy did we ever put a dent in those bottles! We made our rounds and found one bartender who was very generous with his pour. All the appetizers were seafood related. Well, minus the goose liver. Yes thats right. I ate goose liver. Anyways, Zanna doesn’t like seafood. So after about 5 glasses of wine, we decided to leave and get Subway. We then returned for another 5 glasses of wine. Don’t judge! They were small glasses. Afterwards, we hit up a local bar with Zanna’s friend who gave us the tickets and his brother, a former contestant on last year’s So You Think You Can Dance Canada. Surprisingly, he was straight. I don’t remember much from that night expect singing ‘Don’t Stop Believin” in an Asian karaoke bar. I was reminded that night why I lipsync.

-I’m having a lot of fun with my latest show, h2.0, at Crews and Tangos every Thursday at 11pm with co-host Honey Brown. We love taking requests from the audience, so come finger our boxes and help decide the show. Don’t forget to check out my other two shows at Zelda’s Living Well. On Fridays starting at 9pm, Miss Conception and I hit the stage. This past week, two of my friends thought it would be a hoot to keep buying me tequilla. I don’t think I’ve ever been that drunk on stage before. I’ll get them back! Highlight of the night was performing ‘Love Game’ and throwing a dildo in the air and having it suddenly stick to the ceiling. Kodka moment! On Saturdays, come check out my baby, ‘Spray Cheese Saturdays’. Different guest every week. Character and celebrity impersonations. It is always a lot of fun and a show not to be missed! This week my guest is Daytona Bitch. Love her! Two scorpios=mayhem and laughs! The crazyness starts at 9pm! Last night the Scientologists next door were having some sort of block party celebration during the show. I’m going to assume they recaptured Katie Holmes.

-Tomorrow, myself and the Zelda’s crew(lead by Miss Angelfire herself), will be attending the launch party for Priscilla Queen of The Dessert. I <3 scaring straight people. I wonder if they’ll have free wine too. Could I be any more Italian?

-I’m going to be taking a four day vacation from Toronto in June. I’ll be visiting one of my best friends in Sault Ste Marie. I’m really excited! It will be nice to get away from Toronto and not be woken up by hooker fights at 4am.

*FYI*

This is a new segment in my blog where I share with you queens to look out for, songs to download, and youtube videos that will leave you in stitches.

Queen on the Scene: If you haven’t heard of Amber Ellert, Facebook her. She is a new queen on the scene and someone to watch. She recently placed 2nd in Candice’s Star Search at Crews and Tangos. She will be entering again soon, and she is in it to win it. Check her out!

Pump or Dump: Kelis is back with a new album. You’ve probably heard Accapella by now, but there is another gem off her album that I have on repeat at the moment. Its called Brave. Check it out! Thanks Will for the suggestion! Katy Perry also has a new song out . If you’ve ever been to one of my shows, you probably know how much I love La Perry. Its called ‘California Gurls’. Check it out! Its already been added to my box!

YouTube Video of the Week: It’s time for cat massage! I love this video soooooooooo much. Something tells me she isn’t married.

Until next time…

With love and venom,

Heroine Marks

Hello everyone!

Hope you had a fabulous Easter, celebrating the life of a man who was well hung and a nail biter.

It has been awhile since my last update.

Unfortunately, I have been having some issues with my computer. It has been overheating and shutting down unexpectedly. This has been happening while I’ve been working on mixes for my drag shows. Annoying! My computer has become a mild inconvenience in my day. Nevertheless, it has inspired me to start a series through this blog called ‘Heroine Marks’ Mild Inconvenience of the Day’. Everytime I add a new post to GGT, I will include an inconvenience of the day. Lets get the ball rolling!

Heroine Marks’ Mild Inconvenience of the Day – People who end a long and dull story with ‘You had to be there!’

Over the past few weeks, I have fallen victim to that little phrase more often than I’d like. From now on, I think people should start stories with ‘You had to be there’ as a warning and heads up. Will save me from pretending to be interested. Just a thought.

Updates from my end:

-I’m having a lot of fun with my latest show, Spray Cheese Saturdays, at Zelda’s Living Well. It is a 2 hour show where I get to perform my character and celebrity parodies and impersonations, and I’m having a lot of fun making props and mixes for it! If you haven’t checked it out yet, what are you waiting for? This week, my guest is the fabulous Daytona Bitch. Show starts at 9pm! Don’t miss the fun!

-I’m currently working on my makeup portfolio. I’m looking to find males and females who are interested in sitting down and having their makeup applied by moi. If you are interested, contact me at [email protected] and we can work something out!

-I put the final nail in my dating coffin on Friday. I joined PlentyofFish.com. How sad. My roommate suggested I join, since my love life hasn’t been crazy enough the past 6 months. I decided to make my profile as ridiculous as possible. Under interests, I wrote scaring small school children, eating in front of the homeless, and recycling. Oddly enough, I have been receiving quite a few messages from guys. They must really be desperate. These fish have been thrown back for a reason! 

-Crews and Tangos will be re-opening their doors soon under new management. Please don’t ask me for a specific date, as I still don’t know. However, one thing I can announce, is that Honey Brown and myself will be co-hosting Thursday nights at Crews once the bar re-opens. I am very excited to be apart of the new bar and look forward to seeing a new establishment open on Church Street. Honey and I still haven’t decided on a name for the show. We both thought of H2. If you have any suggestions, feel free to leave them!

Until next time…

With love and venom,

Heroine Marks

xoxo