Twenty years ago, a little movie was released that became an iconic touchstone in films starring women. Thelma and Louise almost single-handedly created a new type of movie—the female buddy pic. For the uninitiated, the movie told the story of two women who set out to have a relaxing weekend of cottage life and fishing and ended up on the run from the law after an attempted rape resulted in a murder.

Thelma and Louise stirred its share of controversy in its day—and still does—for its portrayal of the women, most of the men (unsympathetic assholes who use and abuse women) and its iconic ending where the two protagonists make the ultimate sacrifice to stay free and liberated. The movie and its ending stirred debate in many camps and righty or wrongly became a lightning rod for feminist film and the linchpin of a sort of cinematic feminist manifesto.

A cock in a frock on a rock.

Another iconic buddy pic, road trip film was released almost twenty tears ago that made moviegoers sit up and take notice: The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert. This was a first-of-its-kind at the time. Two gay men and a transsexual traverse the badlands of Australia in a retrofitted bus on their way to a gig in the sun-baked centre of the continent. Along the way, they meet with a variety of people who react to the colourful trio in a variety of ways. They find abject homophobia and also acceptance and support in some surprising places.

Along the way, our three protagonists also discover much about themselves and their relationship to one another. While the inciting incidents in both films were quite different (an unseen character in Priscilla suffocated on fumes while bleaching his hair) the result was a wild ride. And while no one went off the cliff in Priscilla…there was a very moving and colourfully climactic scene on a cliff toward the end (“a cock in a frock on a rock”), there are ties that bind fans.

I’d love to see a great, witty, out-of-the-box gay buddy film.

These movies have more in common than not: both broke new ground in their respective genres; both broke new ground in gender roles; and both quite surprisingly DID NOT start a new trend in film. For all of the success of these films, they failed to ignite a new genre of buddy films. There really haven’t been any films like Thelma and Louise since the original and—To Wong Foo Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar as a lone, weaker exception—there hasn’t been a great gay on-the-road buddy film.

As with women in film, gay characters seem to be expected to stay within certain confines when it comes to characterizations: sympathetic sidekick; tragic or abused; comic relief; or somehow disassociated from society. I’d love to see a great, witty, out-of-the-box gay buddy film that breaks barriers and upends the typical ways gay characters are (still!) portrayed in film.

It’s always fun to have a buddy or two to take along on your journey—whether you’re going over a cliff together or going over-the-top at a drag show—it just makes the experience so much more memorable. And, you have someone to recollect with years after…provided you don’t plunge into the abyss.

So, here’s to Thelma, Louise, Priscilla and “Les Girls” and the promise of big, gay buddy movies on hot summer days. Let’s hope we see your kind again soon. It’s time to hit the road…I’ll do the driving!

Reviewing my personal experiences and those I’ve witnessed of other individuals and groups on a whole through one-on-one contact or mass media exposure, I’m coming to a conclusion: queers are suffering an existential crisis. To wit:

We are always on the lookout for the next crisis of identity, expression, politics, sexuality, gender, and socio-sexual-gender-politics and how they do or do not conform to the written and unwritten rules of homosexual behaviour as deemed by those guarding the flame on a daily, weekly and monthly basis. That’s not only a mouthful, but also a hell of a responsibility!

Instead of fighting for our rights and freedoms, we are fighting each other.

Almost every year, without fail and usually timed around the culmination of the great queer ho-monic convergence known as Pride, we find ourselves thrust into a community-sundering crisis of epic proportions that tilts at our very identity and existence as queer (or however you choose to self-identify) people. Years ago it was typically threats and attacks from outside the community by those who wished to degrade, dehumanize and destroy us either through violence, active prejudice or legislation. For the most part we have beaten those swords into plowshares and come a cropper with human rights that—argue this if you will—are they envy of most queer people around the world. Yet, still we are not satisfied.

With hardly a lion at the door and most of the Trojan horses swapped for Trojan condoms, we have directed our existential angst inward. Yes, folks, instead of fighting for our rights and freedoms, we are fighting each other about how we label ourselves (oh, how I long for the days of Gucci versus Versace). We are now too gay, not gay enough, straight-identified, post-gay, post-mo, pre-fab, rebels, hausfraus, fatties, skinnies, piggies, vanilla, new-and-improved, fortified, fabulous, finished, or just questioning. I’m certainly scratching my head a lot, so I guess I fall in the questioning category (but I do vacillate depending on mood, company and situation).

This year we are all up in each other’s pooches about The New Gay. While this may sound like a branding exercise or a new product launch, it’s about how young queer people are identifying themselves and finding alternatives to their alternative lifestyle; Post-mo’s, as they are calling themselves. This has got a lot of Pre-mo’s in a tizzy and the queer cognoscenti firing off letters and emails and Tweets and Facebook posts at break-nail speed. The Qwerty is mightier than the sword. It has taken the issue from a local, Toronto level to a national discussion (props to the author!).

As usual, when someone comes out with a dissenting opinion, there is an almost choreographed firestorm of rebuttal and retribution. I like the rebuttal part as healthy dialogue and discourse is a good thing. I just think we can leave the snide comments and name-calling and assumption out. But I ask myself each time this happens: why are we all so upset? Why is someone’s perception or experience so jarring as to bring out the daggers? Why do we turn ourselves inside out, upside down and scream at the top of our lungs about our right to free speech and then attack someone in our community who uses their free speech to express an opinion that may not be popular? Who’s agenda are we adhering to and who’s free speech are we protecting?

Why are we afraid of the brave new world we’ve fought so hard to create for ourselves?

Certainly we are all allowed to share our opinions. Certainly we are not all expected to agree with these opinions. I have found myself in the crosshairs once or twice over things I have written and was rather shocked at the vitriol for stepping off point, not following script and not toeing the line. While being called names wasn’t fun, it opened dialogues and provided a forum for differing points of view.

We keep touting diversity in out community. We call for unity and celebration of ourselves as a whole community made up of individuals. Well, individuals have individual life experiences and POV and opinions. Are we going to attack every one who says something that challenges our preconceived notions or bumps us out of our comfort zone for a minute? Why the seeming existential crisis? Why are we afraid of the brave new world we’ve fought so hard to create for ourselves?

Recently life threw me quite a curve ball. I was going about my business one run-of-the-mill weekend when I began to feel ill. Instead of getting better over the course of the weekend, I got much worse—resulting in being rushed to the hospital. DRAMA!

Turns out I was a lot sicker than anyone had anticipated and I had to have emergency surgery that day. I’ll spare the gory details and the subsequent stay in hospital. Suffice to say, I was given excellent care by the doctors, nurses and staff at the hospital and am home now and able to write about it.

I was completely vulnerable. I had to surrender.

Post-illness, what has struck me about the whole situation is that for the first time since I was a child, I found myself completely helpless and at the mercy of others. This is a very difficult concept for me to wrap my head around as I am a very “in control, independent” kinda guy and pride myself in being able to handle most situations on my own (or at least assist in a meaningful way). Not this time. I was completely vulnerable. I had to surrender.

We live in a culture that reinforces the idea of owning your life, reinventing yourself, being in control, and being strong in the face of adversity, all great messages and all great pillars from which to anchor one’s life. However, what happens when you find yourself completely out of control? Surrendering yourself and putting your life in the hands of others is incredibly daunting. Actually, it’s scary as hell. You have to accept the present situation. You have to hand over your body to the care of others and you have to acknowledge that there is measured risk and that you have no recourse. It can literally be a do or die situation.

It was an odd blend of frustration and relief.

I was always terrified of this situation, picturing myself kicking and screaming, horrified that I was going to be… I’m not even sure what. The reality was quite different. I didn’t kick. I didn’t scream. I spoke calmly to my doctors and listened quietly as my surgeon explained the operation, the procedure and the potential risks. I looked at her, smiled and surrendered, knowing I had no choice in the matter and that I had to put my life in her hands. After the surgery, I lay in a bed unable to do anything for myself for a couple of days. It was an odd blend of frustration and relief.

Now, on the other side of this experience, I have a different perspective about the concept of control. I was forced to face one of my dragons and instead of falling apart I accepted the situation and gave my power away to those better able to take on the battle. The result: I feel less fear about surrendering my power and control (all a perceived construct, it turns out) and that life is filled with random occurrences that can throw us into a tailspin at any moment.

I’ve also learned not to take even the most miniscule things for granted: like sitting in a chair, walking across a room, being able to bathe and even sleeping on my side. I’m learning to accept my humanness and mortality and embrace that life is filled with unforeseen events. Sometimes the unforeseen is wonderful, and sometimes it’s scary. I’ve learned I can face the unforeseen and whatever it brings without crippling fear. I’m learning to surrender…just a little.

The holidays can mean so much to so many…joy, exultation, ebullience and elation. It can also mean melancholy and sadness depending on how our year went and how we are dealing with life.

For gay people, Christmas can be a double-edged sword: the fantasy expectation of a traditional holiday with all the trimmings of love and belonging and togetherness. But sometimes it doesn’t work out that way. Sometimes you can feel sad and alone. That’s OK. Read the full story

Libra by Josephine Wall

Enter Libra (September 23 – October 23). Fall has already arrived, the leaves on the trees have changed colour and the days are getting colder and shorter; charming and likeable Libra has just stepped in. Modern-day astrologers often view Libra as the most generous sign in the Zodiac because it represents the “Zenith of the Year”, when the harvest of the spring’s hard work is finally reaped.

Read the full story

Do you Tweet?

If so, follow me!

I know, I know – this blog is still in its infancy. But if you like what you’re reading thus far – and are crazy for Tweeting – hit me up! I will be posting updates to let readers know when a new entry is up (…we can have a cute relationship that way)!

Namaste,

xo -Robert

Alterna-Queer, Pride Toronto’s alternative music program, goes big this year with programming at three different locations.

“I’m super excited to be part of the Alterna-Queer growth, and of having the opportunity to showcase both local artists and international talent from around the world.” says Bryen Dunn, Programming Coordinator for Pride Toronto.

The Alterna-Queer Warm-Up Party happens in Toronto’s West Queen West arts district, taking over the Great Hall for the evening of Friday July 2nd. Performances include-Vancouver based new romantic upstart, Lovers Love Haters, and Debora Cohen from The Organ’s newest project. This is also the first opportunity to catch Denmark’s Faggett Fairys for an intimate experience. These gals have ridden the pony to great success in Europe, and it’s now time for North America to get a taste. Rounding out this stellar line up is MEN, featuring the awesomely talented JD Samson (Le Tigre). And of course, the Alterna-Queer warm up wouldn’t be complete without its resident, DJ Triple-X.

On Saturday July 3rd Alterna-Queer takes over the South Stage on Church Street just north of Carlton. Local hip-hop duo Roney & Nani, performance diva Ryan G. Hinds, and electro darling Coko Galore kick off the afternoon in style. Vancouver’s Stink Mitt make a rare appearance strutting white trash rhythms, followed by Toronto’s loudest rock and roll machine Crackpuppy. Later we get our groove on with Toronto’s indie dance favourites Woodhands, followed by an encore performance by MEN. Josie Cotton and her band hit Toronto for their first ever Canadian gig, and ask us and Johnny if we’re queer. Finally, Mistress Barbara LIVE W/ Girls On A Ducati hits a Pride Toronto stage with a special performance and closing out is Fagget Fairys, the electronic queens of Europe and the people behind the hugely successful Trailer Park festival and the ArtRebels festival in Denmark.

Sunday July 4^th, Alterna-Queer happens in sunny Alexander Parkette with a solid line up of Toronto’s finest. Starting the day off is sweet sensation duo Airheart, followed by the brassy, in-yer-face, politically incorrect antics of Adolf Glitter and the dark-rave sounds of The Torrent. Tomboyfriend get down with as many performers they can cram on stage while Señor Kasio rock out, and Heavy Filth keep the dirt flying loud and low. People You Know show us how youngings can rawk the party, before Diamond Rings glams up the stage in an amazing solo show followed by labelmate Private Life, featuring the one and only Katie Stelmanis.

Pride Toronto is hoping festival goers will come early and stay late. “We’ve got you covered with a triple shot of Alterna-Queer love,” says Dunn.

For a full schedule of events, including dates, times and locations, keep checking www.pridetoronto.com.

This is the time of year that our Pride Office begins to get a certain buzz about it.

Our community has begun its 60 Day Countdown …

Which means that we are less than 2 months away from our 30^th Anniversary celebrations.

Our Pride Guide elves are hard at work.

Our first Entertainment Line-up has just been launched out to the media world.

And our phone has begun to ring off the hook as volunteers, businesses, and Toronto-at-large begin to prepare.

60….59….58.…57….

The very first thing that struck me about Mark was his openness, and his sense of humour. Then when I saw the video clip (you can see in this post below) of him winning a car on The Price is Right with Bob Barker, the deal was sealed, I really liked this guy.

This is a PositiveLite.com feature interview: