Okay Poodles, here it is. I just turned 44. I’m 350 lbs and my only cardio is eating chips. Which I’m very good at. I even have a shirt dedicated to the task. But it’s not good and I’m not proud. So when the advertising team at 103.9 Proud FM came to me to see if I wanted to work out with G-Force Training, I was insulted! “Are you calling me fat?” …is what I would’ve yelled if the very act of being insulted hadn’t winded me. So I took it as a hint from God and I jumped at the chance. Okay, I didn’t exactly jump…that’s too much like exercise, but I did see this as a once in a lifetime chance at taking control of my fat fatty fag fat ways and making a change in my life. Let’s face it, youth and fitness are lost on the young. I’d rather be fit in my later years so that I can still get out of bed, go to the toilet AND wipe my own ass without the help of some registered stranger. But I digress. Let me first say that I hate working out. I don’t like sweating. I don’t enjoy muscle fatigue (what did you call me) and I don’t glow in any kind of post workout high. It’s a main reason why I’m fat. Hell, I don’t even like video games with too much running and jumping. I would never come up with “working out” as an activity on my own which is why the G-Force opportunity is so great. Gidon, my trainer and owner of G-Force comes to my place twice a week and works me out for an hour…cool down and meditation included. He brings all the equipment so there’s nothing to buy unless you need sweat clothes. I sweat so much that I consider all my clothes sweat clothes but that’s not what Gidon meant. Anyway, he varies my workout so I don’t get bored and he’s structured a meal plan designed to keep me from self sabotaging all my sweaty, whiney efforts. Did I mention that I live moments away from a Baskin Robins? Jesus hates me. It’s probably because I’m gay. But again, I digress. Seriously, working out is not an activity I would come up with on my own but I am loving the results! I’m two weeks into our 3 month program and my balance is better, I’m not so winded when I walk up the 4 flights of stairs to my apartment (yes, you heard me…fatty lives on four) and I’ve already lost 10 lbs! Suck on that Doritos! Needless to say I’m thrilled. I still don’t like the idea of working out but I’m liking what working out does! Already I’m seeing a change in my endurance and and it’s totally improved my quality of sleep at night. So I’ll be keeping you up to date about my trials and tribs in the fitness field over the next 2 and a half months and touting the fabulousness that is G-Force! Seriously, if you want to change your life, change your trainer…and give away that chip eatin’ shirt!

A guy showing the muscle building power of the Reformer or "The Rack"

If you have been following me in the media one of the pains in my side is the freakin’ last 20 lbs. ARGH! So along comes Core Studio’s (http://www.corestudio.ca) 30-Day Challenge at 553 Queen Street West/3rd. Floor. Well let’s keep it real if I want to see my friends and shop for clothes I’m doing the 21-day. So this is how it works you must do 21 classes which can consist of Yoga and/or Fusion, Reformer and Mat. For those of you who don’t know I’m referring to Pilates. Now before you poo-poo Pilates; Sting, Demi Moore, Jennifer Lopez, Madonna, and Sarah Jessica Parker SWEAR that Pilates gives them their toned physique.  Pilates works on the premise to develop your muscle strength through your own body weight, an ab ball, Toning Balls (no they are not like the other type) and a fitness circle. Some of the moves are not for the faint of heart but if you can hang in their you can put straight boys to shame. It is possible to be cooler than the muscle dudes at the gym.

The requirements of the challenge is simple. A minimum four classes which must consist of one Yoga and/or Fusion (Fusion is strength building routine combining Yoga and Pilates), Reformer (or as Madge calls it, the rack) and Mat work. Participants will be monitored for class attendance and their are prizes at the end plus a vegetarian pot luck.  (Oh what you are gonna do all that work, look hot for 30 seconds and blow it all away for Dairy Queen?!!) For full details of what I will be going through visit the official web site: http://www.corestudio.ca/30-Day_Challenge.html If you really want to have your “Impressive Instant” challenge your body and lifestyle by committing to getting leaner and stronger. Remember Pride is only four months away!