Is it possible to find a man your friends haven’t already slept with?  Philip Tetro, star of MTV’s 1Girl5Gays doesn’t think so, blogging his ideas on it and chatting with GGT publisher Shaun Proulx:

It is impossible to find a single gay guy in Toronto who hasn’t slept with, or at least dated, one of your good friends. All it takes is one click on “Mutual Friends” on Facebook to find that you have over 30 friends in common. All it takes is a single picture of the guy on your phone, shown to everyone at Sunday brunch, to have everyone tell you that he slept with someone you know who dated another friend in 2007. All it takes is for the two of you to be at Woody’s on a Thursday night and have the guy tell you two of his ex-boyfriends are here.

It’s fucking terrifying.

For someone who hasn’t been on a date in three months, it’s scary to know that the next guy I find online or at a bar will probably have fucked someone I know. I wonder if I’ll have to start going on ManHunt Napanee just to meet someone that hasn’t slept with one of my friends.

… it’s scary to know that the next guy I find online or at a bar will probably have fucked someone I know …

When I talk to people about this, apparently they are surprised at my disdain for wanting to be a “sloppy second,” if you will. I guess I missed some sort of unspoken agreement in the gay community that tells you that it’s completely normal and acceptable to sleep with someone, even after you are both aware that you have fucked the same people.

That boggles my mind. It boggles my mind that when I bring the man I’m dating to a social event, he’s already potentially slept with a quarter of the gay men there. It boggles my mind that I people are shared and tossed around like sexual clowns, going from one party to the other.

Must I be the first to say “no”? Must I be the one who ends this? I must. I, Philip Tetro, declare today that I will no longer become romantically involved with another man who has slept with someone I know. Even under the influence of several $2 vodka-cranberries, I will not take someone home who is the ex-boyfriend of a friend of mine. I refuse to be second best, baby!

Someone really needs to make me a membership card so I don’t forget the rules.

- Philip Daniel Tetro

So, I’ve had an interesting few weeks since my last post.

I had a boyfriend for just over two weeks. I broke it off Monday night. Didn’t want to do it on Valentines. I’m not that big a bitch. Well I am, but he was different.

What saddens me about the whole situation is that I could see myself with the guy down the road. The timing was just all wrong. We both made mistakes early on. My mistake was dating a flight attendant. At first, it seemed fun. We wanted the same things, had a great connection. We talked about going on vacations and travelling. I was content. I soon realized it was not the best occupation to have when you decide to start a relationship. I would go 4-5 days without seeing him. As a Scorpio, that doesnt sit well with me. I need to have a lover who is close by. Lets face it: scorpios are horny 24/7! He has done drag a few times, so he didn’t have a problem with dating a drag queen. However, there were a few lessons he had to learn. The same ones I’ve had to teach a few others before him. Thinking about it, I’ve decided to share these with you in case you one day find yourself madly in love with a queen on the scene. Here’s a few helpful tips! Kisses!

Tip 1: Don’t think you’re dating a woman. You’re dating a boy. We don’t live as women. The ones that do are called transexuals. They don’t perform on stages, just Homewood and Maitland. You’ll be dating a guy, and a lot of times we’re more masculine than you! I know more drag queens who are tops than bottoms. Just sayin’!

Tip 2: If you’re going to try on wigs, ask first. Nothing I hate more than walking in on someone wearing one of my best and looking like a mess with no dress. The Sherbourne Health Centre is down the street, honey.

Tip 3: Don’t be clingy. If you go out on the town with a queen and they’re popular or well-known, anticipate that people are going to come up to them and talk to them. Don’t get jealous and protective. Its cute in small doses, but ODing is not the way to go.

Tip 4: If you say ‘I’m coming to your show’, SHOW UP! Don’t text them at midnight telling them you’re in Montreal! That example might be a little personal. Oh well. Anyways, if you say you’re going to come to a show, be there. Sometimes queens have a rough night. After all, we’re underpaid and underappreciated in Toronto. Its always nice to have that smiling, familar face in the crowd to keep our spirits high.

Tip 5: Don’t call us by our drag names when we’re boys. Nothing I hate more than a guy introducing me to his friends as Heroine Marks. When you do that, you just come off as a star fucker.

Tip 6: Don’t expect us to always pay your tab at the end of the night with our show fee. I don’t have ATM written on my forehead, do I? Oh I do. How did that get there? I, personally, don’t mind once in a blue moon, especially if I’ve made tips that night. But if it becomes a weekly routine, I’ll escort you to the door. See ya!

Tip 7: Once in awhile, it wouldn’t kill you to carry our suitcases. Its very sweet and any queen walking to a gig in heels will thank you. After all, you’re not being paid to just stand there and look pretty. I am, so get a wheelin’, Mary!

Tip 8: Tip us! It gets the ball rolling. Wink wink.

That is all for now! Hopefully I didn’t scare anyone off from dating queens. We’re really nice people under all the layers. Well most of us.

Until next time…

With love and venom,

Heroine Marks

Ps. Come see me perform at Fierce Fridays every Friday night at Zelda’s Living Well(692 Yonge Street). Show starts at 9pm with myself and the fabulous Miss Conception! See you there, sweeties!

What would be Valentine’s Day without a few presents? So I have scoured around to find you some cute yet fun things to help you celebrate Valentine’s Day whether you are “single and fabulous”, or, to coin the Bridget Jones term a “smug married”, or if you are simply “getting to know each other”. These will also help seal the deal – or could be the deal breaker! What ever you decide to do, remember it’s all about the love.

For The Single and Fabulous:

If you are like me and my favourite term from Sex and the City “single and fabulous” Valentine’s Day leaves you one or all three of these feelings: thankful, dread or wanting. Either way Valentine’s Day is actually the best time to be single -  think of how many guy you can kiss and no one thinks your cheating. However, if Valentine’s Day leaves you with pangs of jealousy over your ex’s new boyfriend here’s an easy way to calm down. Have a bath. Get a heap of bubble bath, some bath oil and soak your no man stress away by throwing in this limited edition X Factor bath bomb ($6.95) from Lush. (http://www.lush.com). It’s made of ginger and if you feel like playing Alex Forest from Fatal Attraction, rip off his limbs and throw him in piece by piece the sit on him, you’ll feel much better.

For The Smug Marrieds:

In between the candlelight dinner, the holding hands, the slow dancing and cuddling up to either watch Lilies or Maurice you may want to have a romantic bath for two. Spice up your water with their limited edition Magic Mushroom bath bomb again from Lush($6.95) (not the other one which is the party drug). This bar is scented with vanilla and strawberries. So you can have that strawberry and cream indulgence but not have to hit the treadmill later.

For Those Who Are In No Man’s Land:

Oh the fragile state of “are we” or “aren’t we” on Valentine’s Day. Will he ask you out or not? If you call does make you look pushy or taking the initiative. Those are the questions we all face especially a day, week or a month into the “getting to know you phase.” OK…so let me help you speed things up.

Here are two things which will help you get your message across. The make up company Cover FX has Mint Glaze. A protective and fortifying glaze which has SP 15 to make your lips kissably soft indoors or out. You can find it at Sephora or Shoppers Drug Mart ($22.00).

Should your eager kiss should not signify that your man parts are begging for touching (sorry Jackie Collins moment) time to turn up the heat by “taking the jeans off” and revealing your boxers with love all over them.

These boxers from The Gap (http://www.thegap.com)  are just too fun not to pass on. They are a seasonal piece and are around the $20 mark. A small investment to show a guy you are ready to take your nights out from dating to mating.

The scene has become a classic in my life. A gay guy eyes me from the other end of the room. He gets closer and let his intentions known in no uncertain terms. Unfortunately for him, I don’t have a set time to disclose my medical history. There are many factors at play for me, such as safety, worry about the power of the rumour mill and how the revelation will be received, sometimes along with a dread that I even have to contextualize my body. Least I forget that like many people, I’d like someone to get to know me for who I am before they slip into the easier role to dismiss me because of my body. But if I’ve decided I’d like to go there, I disclose.

“But… I’m gay!”

Indeed, I had caught on. Let’s recap. You’re a guy who cruised another guy and you hit on him. Yes, I’m fairly certain that qualifies you as gay or bi. Do you feel better already? You are definitively into men. I hope you found some reassurance while you ignored your transphobia. Goodness knows I’m the one whose entire manhood has just been invalidated, sex appeal revoked and positioned as a threat by the mere virtue of being able to navigate your space without being readily identifiable as you need me to be (that is, as something other than what I am, a man, since the memo that was evident to you before I disclosed was not only lost but destroy virtually instantly thereafter.)

Bitter? Sadly, no since I take the time to reassure you about your sexuality even as you dismissed mine. Some consider this an educational moment but to me it’s internalized transphobia at its finest.

Not tonight, no, as I am prone to from time to time, I left the guy to fester in his analysis. Yes, you hit on a transguy because you correctly recognized him as a guy. If you no longer feel the latter is true, it is not my job to confirm that fallacy for the sake of your insecurity. My number one turn on is confidence, you have little.

It’s you, not me.

**about the picture for this entry** It’s not just cis-gay men that can have difficulty around their attraction to transguys, this is something they share with many cis-straight women. That picture is from a Seventeen magazine article that is simultaneously terrible journalism and horrendously transphobic.

Lately I’ve found Facebook becoming the AOL (America Online). I’ll go into more detail about Facebook/AOL in another video post.

For today, I’d like to discuss one element of the making of new online acquaintances or potential dates through this medium: honesty vs. forthrightness.

Being that I am out about my positive status everyone that I can bloody think of, when I receive a message from someone I do not know, I have to think of the age-old question, “Does he know?”

For a variety of reasons I don’t post a Facebook banner disclosing my status, as I haven’t seen this as a date-getting venue. You could still connect the dots if you dug around a bit and followed some links.

When the occasion arises where a potential date is about to happen, I feel I have no other option to cut to the chase. I rather deal with a minor headache of never hearing back from someone “post-instant messenger” disclosure, than a real live migraine as I watch someone squirm in front of my eyes as they try to get out of this one.

Read the full story

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Yesterday’s posting of Vblog is now being re-edited for your consumption.

Motivated by my lack of success in dating, and inspired by a song, I’ve entitled this venture – No You Can’t Stay For Coffee!

In the first few episodes, I bare as much as I can to get your attention.

When it came to making this vblog entry I tried talking in front of the camera. It was boring. What could I do to make this stand out from other people on the internet?

Thinking of my blog Acid Reflux, and writing for fab magazine, I decided to carry on with my odd sense of humour, willingness to bare all metaphorically and literally.

The feedback I got, and much appreciated that this vblog entry was really enough for two to three posts.

It’s been fun to make, and I can’t wait to get it out in its final publication.

So contrary to what people think when they see me on the street or in the bar, I am very young. In fact, I just turned 22 last week. And having a preference for men who primarily fall outside my own age bracket, I encounter the age issue quite a bit. There are many different ways in which age can become an issue.

There are the times when it becomes important and usually a problem when becoming involved with an older guy. Being 22 I am not really ready to settle down, where as a good chunk of men in their 3os are more of the marrying type. Not that they want to get married, just that they are much closer to the point in their lives where they need stability and some semblance of normalcy. In situations like this, I completely understand age being an issue. If you’re looking for a partner to settle down with, you probably don’t want a 20 something, no matter how hot his ass may or may not be. Read the full story

Rainbow Jars Photographed Exclusively for GGT 2.0 By Peter Tamlin (petertamlin.com)

I’m looking for a boyfriend. The power search engines options range from cock size, to preferred sexual position to amount of body hair.  Categories on your favorite gay dating/sex sites aside, what about things like tastes in cinema?  favorite wines?  fashion sense?

Where does an art fag like me to go to find compatibility? I’ve known long-term hipster couples who have broken up for little more than “artistic differences”! Bars aren’t an option either, with loud music, drinks and gyration, it’s hard to start a conversation, plus most times all the boys are in competition for that ONE cute boy.  How am I going to find out if he prefers Chekhov or Dostoevsky? No, I’ve come to accept bars are more for socializing with friends than pair bonding.

What about the good old fashioned pick-up? Nowadays if you even make eye contact (nevermind speak) directely to a stranger you might end up tazered, or arrested (yet ironically you may later end up trading “anonymous” cock pics some hours later on dudesnude….alas, it seems the interweb is the only place to go to meet cute atistic guys but what site has the right tempering of smarts, arts and hotbodies? FACEBOOK! (or at least untill they create fuckbook). So, I’m off to lurk artfags on this genuis of social mediums, page-by-page, the hard part is garnering the add, before i can stalk them and all there friends, wish me luck and dont forget to facefuck..oops i mean Facebook  me:)

Rainbow Jars: petertamlin.com