Cruising online? It can be slim pickings.

Hey y’all!  It’s great to be able to blog again, and don’t worry; I’ll be sure to post Part Two of my coming out story in a few days.  First though, I need to rant.

 If you live in downtown Toronto, you will know that we just had a provincial by-election.  I’ve been careful not to name my political affiliation here on GGT because I have other forums for that work and didn’t want to “go there”.  The truth is though that I’m a New Democrat and, dare I say, a respected one at that.  I chair one of the Party’s election planning committees, which means that the by-election was pretty much all I did for six weeks. 

 Planning a socialist uprising is hard work and doesn’t lend itself to going to the village and hopefully picking up.  It doesn’t stop this gay boy from wanting some attention though.  Enter cruising the internet.  Now, I do cruise online a fair bit; especially in the winter when I can’t be bothered going out in the cold.  The by-election just drove me to the keyboard even more.  The frustrating thing is I didn’t meet anyone and I couldn’t help but wonder if cruising online is dead. 

 There are obviously thousands of guys in the city who meet each other online.  The problem is that I’m finding more and more of them are “masculine”, “straight acting” (unpacking the internalized homophobia in that lovely gem of a term should be a PhD dissertation), “non-scene” types.  In other words, boring and not the least bit attractive to me.  Even for a roll in the hay, I want there to be some chemistry and maybe a hope for something deeper developing.  Some of you might be thinking that I’m being too picky; that I should realize that cruising sites probably won’t lead to brilliant sex, never mind a match made in heaven.  I’ve been with a few of these “straight acting” boys though and there is just nothing there.  No passion.  No sense of enjoying the queerness of having sex with another man.  And, quite honestly, none of the tenderness I’ve even experienced after meeting someone in a club.  Nothing!

 Another by-election is over, and I have recovered from an exhaustion induced flu.  It’s time to get back out there and find myself a nice queer and proud boy.  To hell with the internet.  Well, besides the pictures.

The great hunt, and non-dates continue despite my recent canine ennui.

The truth is: I can count on one finger how many times I’ve been laid since I don’t know when, probably more than six months. That was until last week. Read the full story

Since I’ve embarked on my healthy living experiment, I’ve had many great side effects from it.

I have more energy. I’m getting up at 7 am without an alarm clock. I get through the day with steady blood sugar levels reducing the afternoon crashes, and with the AndroGel, the testosterone gel (it’s alcohol based and you rub it on your skin – and I have no idea why people always ask me if I put it on my dick?) I’ve found and sudden and increased interest in the male form.

Prior to that I’d say, “The most work I want to put into getting laid is taking a Viagra, pulling out a couple hundred dollar bills from the bank machine, and acquiring a copy of the Xtra classifieds and order in.”

Nonetheless, the sudden and intense need for cock was becoming greater and greater. I wandered back on a naked men cruising site that I’d been on since – oh god – 2001.

Back then, nobody was on from Toronto; logging on meant chatting with friends I made while traveling, or making new ones for new ports of call. It was never for hooking up with someone in Toronto the moment they sent me a message.

Getting back on the site, I found myself behaving as if I was on mini crystal meth binge. All this exercise, good food, and testosterone made me feel like if I didn’t get any cock soon I was going to explode.

You’d think after all these years; I’d be good at this internet cruising. Truth is, I really suck at it.

What do you do when you’re almost firming up the deed, but it’s not a done deal, and another guy messages you that’s hot as well. In the end the original suddenly stops writing back for three hours, and I’ve lost the other one.

Or, a nice compliment, that I get quite a few messages. I just want to get laid, not turn into a weekend long sex-addict going from one to another to another.

With the exception of a few, the idea of not hooking up not now, or in a couple hours, or worse, not that day even, is incomprehensible.

What if I just was to jack off to all the hot amateur videos these guys send in and be done with this urge to “Fuck a door if it were open” and get on with my day?

Some get really made and pull a lot of attitude. “Well I much prefer to do it for real.” said one guy.

Ya, me too, but I’ve only got 30 mins until I have to head out the door and get on with my day.

What I’d like is get a new small group of three or so guys who I could get together with a regular basis, as I hate doing this online cruising. It’s so much better when a rapport has been developed and a quasi-sexual friendship develops.

Picking up the phone and arranging a visit or house call is right to the point, you know what you are getting, and it can get pretty hot, as the comfort level is more relaxed.

Meanwhile, I just want to suck some cock. It’s my thing. Anyone who offers theirs up is really contributing to the universes random acts of benevolent kindness.

Is that too much to ask?