I have really been pushing my work a lot lately with little response and with a client graduating that, has excelled beyond my expectations. And having reignited my passion for Coaching. I found myself questioning what I really want. I admit it. I wanted to quit!

I was challenged by my GayGuideToronto.com publisher to coach myself by asking what would CoachBe say?

He would say what’s worked in the past?
B: Hair has worked in the past.
Cb: Is that what you want?
B: No but I need to make money. What I am doing right now is not making money at all. I am having a hard time even giving it away. I get results from those who do not pay and no results from those who do.
Cb: So when you give it away it works.
B: Yes.
Cb: What do you value?
B: My values are love, choice, faith, belonging.
Cb: I didn’t hear money. Which of the two options gives you the most of your values?
B: Coaching.
Cb: What does that mean?
B: It means that I love coaching and what I really want is just to coach. I do not subscribe to societies value of money. However, money does act as a leverage to keep my clients accountable. We also need money to function. However I am not bankrupt.
Cb: What I hear is that what you want is value.
B: Yes.
Cb: So what if you just filled your practice?
B: I have tried to give a half hour away on GGT but was met with resistance.
Cb: What kind of resistance?
B: Well, the fear of “opening up a can of worms”.
Cb: How are you taking that because, I sense your disappointment. Also, I still don’t quite see how giving a half an hour away is filling your practice.
B: Yes I am disappointed, err.. I hadn’t see it that way before.
Cb: What specifically are you seeing now?
B: Well, if the client was afraid that the can of worms would be opened and I don’t have a full practice. So then, I could offer the client 12 sessions after. For that matter I could just give my time away and do it until my practice is full.
Cb: What would that do?
B: It would provide me with all of my values which is all I ever want for my clients.
Cb: And…
B: It would provide me with word of mouth advertising because I know what coaching can do for myself and for others my clients tell me all the time.
Cb: So what does it take to fill your practice?
B: I could just do it because I love it and I believe in it! I could give it away.
Cb: What would that look like?
B: I don’t know.
Cb: Well I know that means you need time to think so let’s leave it there. Your homework is to think about how you can give it all away.

I’m always open to suggestions.
Stay tuned!

I have never been one to have a huge problem with the loss of other people. I completely understand it’s natural to not accept that someone will be in our lives forever. People come with messages and give them to you and when you receive it they walk off the stage of life. At least it’s always been that way for me. Sometimes people come back only because I have needed a refresher on those lessons or I had an all together different lesson to learn from the same teacher.

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As promised in his campaign, Mayor Rob Ford said he would save me money! I have to share how he’s done this already. Thanks to his Honours special guest, that had the lovely privilege of placing the “Chain of Command” around his Honours neck. Don Cherry, addressed chambers with a good hearty dose of verbal diarrhea. Spewing forth such siloing statements such as: “I wore (Pepto-Bismol) pink to honour all those bike left wing pinkos”. I love Don Cherry because I think he represents the Right very well. Unfortunately that day, he should have drank the the pink instead of spewing. I do believe Pepto comes in Mr. Cherry flavour!

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ONE GREAT THING – A GayGuideGiftGuide:

Dear Santa(s),

All I want for Christmas is an 

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One of the huge downers of being in a triad is the assumption that all people and organizations make about what my relationship should look like. Let me explain. The other day Drasko was ever so lovingly given a set of tickets to Nina Arsenault’s The Silicone Diaries. He addressed this gift to John and myself by Facebooking the question: “I have been given two tickets to go to Nina’s opening night. Who wants to go?” It all got worked out as John said he did not want to go. See you on Thursday Nina! But what if John did want to go?

But this is not the only circumstance of assumptions about the kind of relationship that I will have. For instance we decided that we would check out the new strip club Flash (I’ll maybe give you my review of that another time). I can at times have my moments where I would consider myself a pig. Okay just a little pig. When going to the bathroom at Flash we were presented with a little gift from our local AIDS Service organization that was entitled “Pig pack, two condoms two lube” My question remains, why two? Any pig I know would need at least 3 condoms.

In our community of diversity, how is it always assumed that we need things in pairs?

Ah yes, those questions that you have about my relationship. We have been making reference to Sister Wives over the past few weeks and this immediately brings me to the number one thing that it takes to be in a 3 way relationship. “Allowing” is something I have been working on over the past year or so. Allowing rather than resisting, for me has provided freedom to my life and most of all movement forward.  My friend Staci refers to this as Grace, I never fully understood this word until now. Living without resisting what’s going on, is living in grace.

So yes, we all do sleep in the same bed although Drasko does have his own place which he tends to visit for days on end. He has a bit of the artistic hermit in him which I completely understand. The rest of the time it’s the three of us. I sleep in the middle and if anyone who happens to be reading this has a solution for the middle guy being trapped under the blankets and over heating please let me know what’s working for you.  The rule here is generally if you’re not sleeping well, you move to the couch.

Okay so maybe I won’t get to all of your questions but please feel free to ask below.

I have been dating my partner John for about 6 years now. I will admit that this has been the best relationship of my life.

When I first started dating John we discussed the boundaries of what the relationship would look like. We explored whether it would be open or closed. Would we play together or assimilate the ever pervasive, “don’t ask, don’t tell policy”.

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Message from Ellen

Belgrade

Anderson Cooper

It gets better (for a little humor)

I am not one to pass things on, but something this week is telling me to post this.

I love this parable and I hope you do too.

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Usually, I am a winter person. I thrive and become alive when every one else seems to be coming down with the winter blues. This summer has been a little crazy! A little eye opening and a whole pile of fun. On second thought…let me clarify with a different kind of fun. My circle of friends hasn’t expanded like this since earlier in the decade. Remember those fun times we had in 2000 – 2003? I have been starting to explore this city’s night life once again and it is expanding my entertainment world! It’s what people do with friends; Go out for a night on the town.

I remember, I used to start my night on a Thursday, working my way down the Church St. strip until Saturday when I went to Fly all night, then the underwear party at the Barn on Sunday, home for a cat nap then to It night club Sunday night. It was non-stop fun! Okay I will admit, my nightlife schedule was a little overboard.

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