THE ANTICIPATION OF PHILY :: The fifteenth in a series as we count down to Madonna’s new album release. The music video for “Give Me All Your Luvin’” featuring Nicki Minaj and M.I.A will be released in its entirety on Madonna’s YouTube channel this Friday, February 3rd.

THIS IS THE FIRST MADONNA MUSIC VIDEO IN FOUR YEARS, Y’ALL.

American Idol will be previewing a clip of the video the night before to entice the audience (gays), and as pure marketing genius will have it, the single will be released exclusively to iTunes the next day, as well as the pre-order of the album (to be released March 26th), and a limited-edition remix.

Pardon me while I wipe away my orgasm and enjoy this playlist, Madonna :: The Celebration we created on Rdio:

Philip Tetro is our resident Madonnaologist. He’s created a religion-based lifestyle, worshipping everything she’s ever done. You can also catch him as a regular panelist on MTV Canada’s 1 girl 5 gays and read his non-Madonna blog here.

 

Cover Girl: The art for the first single, Give Me All Your Luvin'

AUDIO :: In celebration of the big fat week Madonna has ahead of her, what with Jay Leno Monday, an American Idol sneak peek of the new video for the first single off of MDNA (“Give Me All Your Luvin’ feat Nicki Minaj and M.I.A.), the digital release of the single Friday on iTunes and as a YouTube video at 9am ET, culminating with her Super Bowl half time performance Sunday, we asked our resident Madonnaologist Philip Tetro to curate an Rdio playlist of Madonna songs that didn’t get the attention they deserved from radio:

- TheGayGuideNetwork

More Madonna Watch

American Idol preview of the preview:

 

For us J-Lo lost her cool factor right around the time she launched her umpteenth perfume. American Idol, shilling razors, divorcing Marc Anthony … meh – whatever happened to Jenny from the block who was waiting for tonight? And now she’s about to release another fragrance, which begs the question:

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April Engelberg not only knows what a hot plate is, she can use it AND created an online cooking show about it.  Pass our new Woman of the Hour our TMI Questionnaire; all hail!

JUST THE FACTS

I’m a: Taurus.

I’m:  23.

I was born: At Mount Sinai in Toronto.

I produce an online cooking show called The Hot Plate. It’s pretty fun and yes, I do get to eat everything after.

My fave colour: Lilac.

Passion: Waterskiing, music (especially country these days), cooking.

Fantasy entourage: My actual best friends, Taylor Swift, Amanda Bynes, the cast of The OC, John Mayer, Justin  Bieber, whoever writes BetchesLoveThisSite.com.

Turn-ons: John Mayer-esque qualities.

Irresistible in a mate: Same as above.

Phrase I most overuse: Saying abbreviations aloud such as “BRB, TTYLZ, GTG”. I know it’s not cool.

Most people would be surprised to know I: Came up with the idea for The Hot Plate because I was really bad at cooking and needed some basic support! I’ve gotten much better since, but I could barely make an edible stir-fry a few years ago.

Fictional best friend:  Taylor Swift and Amanda Bynes.

Talent I wish I had: Songwriting and a good voice.

When I order a cocktail I ask for: Something girly like Sangria. Amanda Garbutt (host of The Hot Plate) is helping me expand my horizons

GUILTY PLEASURES

TV: American Idol (haven’t missed an episode from any season!). This year I am rooting for Scotty McCreery and Lauren Alaina.

Song: “Kissin U” by Miranda Cossgrove (you will love it too).

Greatest extravagance: Making really amazing dinners.

WEAR APPARENT

Jeans: Ernest Sewn. Best jeans ever.

Footwear: Winter boots. I am always cold.

Watch: My cell phone.

Eyewear: No glasses.

Casual: Addicted to dresses and blazers.

Formal: Same as casual.

Perfume / Cologne: Allergic to perfume.

BEAUTY DUTY

Shampoo: I usually switch it up every month.

Face wash: Same.

Moisturizer: Aveeno.

Body Lotion: Same.

Indulgence: Claritin. Saves my day everyday.

GOTTA GETTA GADGET

Gadgets: Samsung Android

On my music player now:  Lady Antebellum, Taylor Swift, Zac Brown Band, John Mayer, Ivi Mairi, Maroon 5, Lady Gaga, La Roux, Cults.

I always PVR: American Idol, Glee, 60 Minutes.

CULTURE VULTURE

Last book read: George W. Bush’s Decision Points. Please note that I also read Sarah Palin’s Going Rogue, Obama’s The Audacity of Hope, Game Change by Heilemann and Halperin and The Audacity to Win by Plouffe. I enjoy trying to understand all perspectives.

Last movie seen: Bridget Jones Diary. Hilarious every time.

Last concert: The Treasures. I’m their #1 fan (tied with one of their grandmother’s who has been to as many concerts as me). They’re from Toronto so check them out for yourself!

Last play: Rock of Ages.

OBSESSIONS

Current obsession: Exploring new vegetables, betcheslovethissite.com, barbecuing, going to concerts.

Past obsession: My friend Peter’s massive rabbit fur hat.

Future obsession: Exploring new areas of Toronto.

CRYSTAL BALL

The next big thing will be:  More young people becoming amazing home cooks.

AND FINALLY …

Words of wisdom: I like to go by this poster that was always on the classroom wall in high school: “You miss every shot you don’t take”.

Check out The Hot Plate for recipes, 5-minute episodes, How-To videos and general help with your culinary confidence!

Being crazy these days is really an art form.  There is a fine line between good crazy and bad crazy.

Example 1:  If you are a fan who comes across your idol passed out in a snowy ditch, bring him home, tie him to a bed and torture him.  You are the bad kind of crazy.

Kathy Bates in 'Misery'

Example 2:  If you are a deluded, homophobic, sexist, racist, arrogant movie star who thinks he ‘owns’ Malibu and that anyone who is not Christian is going to hell.  You are the bad kind of crazy.

Mel Gibson

Last night I tuned in to American Idol for the first time since Ellen joined the judging panel.  Snooze fest.  I love Ellen, but not in that venue.  Between the lackluster performances and the predictable quips and disses from the judges, I changed the channel.  What lacked was a bit of crazy.

Example 3:  If you are a past-your-prime pop star who, through a cloud of pain killers and god knows what else slurs incoherent feedback to wannabe American Idols.  You are the good kind of crazy!

Paula Abdul

Seriously! Who does he have pictures of naked?

I’m not even a regular viewer of American Idol so I can’t image what it’s like for fans of the show seeing that fame whore’s face popping up every other minute.

Seriously! Read the full story

Oh sweet baby Hebus! First it’s American Idol. But let’s face it, it’s the worst of the worst that make that show fun.

She Bang! Read the full story

It has been a bit of a busy week for me, but I wanted to share some thoughts about last week’s American Idol finale, before we’re on to the next manufactured piece of art. Read the full story

I just heard that Kris Allen won American Idol, much to the surprise of everyone, including Kris himself. And a coterie of record company execs, marketers, PR flacks, stylists et al. Kris should fit into the mold nice and easily and move the hardware up the charts.

They took the safe bet – the sure thing

 I have noting against Kris. How could I? I never watched the show. But I can just hear the heaves of relief from record company execs, PR flacks, stylists, musicians, radio, et al as they know this guy will be a perfect fit in the big wheel of entertainment – easy to sell, inoffensive and sure to keep the little girls screaming for more.

Something Adam’s “flamboyant, show-tune-style” could never satisfy – especially in the mid-west.

I just heard that Kris Allen won American Idol, much to the surprise of everyone, including Kris himself. And a coterie of record company execs, marketers, PR flacks, stylists et al are heaving a huge sigh of relief. Kris should fit into the mold nice and easily and move the hardware on the charts.

I have nothing aginast Kris. How coud I, I never watched the show?

They chose the safe bet – a sure thing.

But let’s just say the wheels of corporate entertainment have turned and they know they are moving toward a big pile of money and – pretty much – a safe, sure thing.