If you had told me when I moved back to Toronto in 2008 that I would be on the Board of Directors for the AIDS Committee of Toronto, I wouldn’t understand. I wouldn’t understand how someone relatively new to the city could achieve such a feat. I wouldn’t understand how my journey would have led me there.

But that’s life I guess. It’s a fast flowing river that takes you for a ride. The ride can be shitty or it can be great, but that part is up to you.

My journey to the Board started when I joined the Fund Development Committee of ACT.  The committee is dedicated to the financial planning, organization and execution of ACT’s fundraising events, including the AIDS Walk for Life.

A year later, and a position opens up on the Board.  I’m encouraged to throw my hat in the ring.  Never one to shy away from a new challenge, I did it.  Then came the interview.  3 on 1, but I held my ground and left feeling like I nailed it!  Then came the night of the Annual General Meeting.  The existing Board and important players of the organization had gathered to vote in their new Board members.  I sat at a round table near the front, holding my lover’s hand under the table and nervous as all hell about my impending speech.

Reading the other candidates bios was daunting.  The bios were full of schooling degrees, letters after their name and decades in affiliated fields of employment.  There I sat, in Toronto about 2 years, with just my experience on the Fund Development Committee, my desire to give back to the community and a smile.

I was introduced by the then Chair of the Board and I got up and walked to the podium. As I looked out at the faces looking back at me, all the nerves faded away and suddenly I was where I am always at my best; in front of a crowd. The speech ended in applause and I sat down exhilarated that I had done it.  No matter the outcome now, I was proud of myself for going for it and being myself in the process.

When the votes were tallied and all was said and done, I had made it on the Board. I’m still milking that feeling of accomplishment that I had at that meeting last week.

The moral of the story: Just go for it, and when good things happen in life, milk them for as long as you can and for all they’re worth!

Last Wednesday, Brenda Lennie, Jim Maxwell and I, had another improv workshop at the AIDS Committee of Toronto.

Once again, the workshop was a great success. It is hard to explain the great stuff that comes out of these workshops until you’ve experienced it.

My one friend who is in a similar situation as myself joined us that night. When I say similar I mean that over the years without working, I’ve lost a lot of my confidence. I used to be a corporate trainer, and although I have no problem with public speaking, I no longer felt strong in facilitating workshops or even chairing a board meeting.

When away from having to take on these responsibilities, one does feel rusty and almost afraid again to take these kinds of activities on.

In improv, confidence is one of the main benefits I get every time I go through a workshop. Yes I can take on these leadership kinds of roles. Yes I can think on the spot.

My friend even said, “You can’t know how amazing this is until you’ve actually experience it.  I really enjoyed myself, no….I didn’t enjoy myself, it was one of the most amazing nights I’ve had in a long time.”

He carried on to say, “You know I didn’t realize how controlling and how little trust I have.” as he had such a hard time letting go to accept the what others were giving him in the improve exercises.

I noticed this, but hadn’t said anything. It was amazing to see this aspect of him.

And it’s true. With Brenda and Jim, we realized we had chemistry as an improve group.  I have complete trust, which can be a vague term.

For me this means, trusting that others are not going to judge me, trust that I can just be me and there is not a wrong way to do this.

Throughout the two hours, I’d constantly be checking myself.  “Ok why in this moment and I having a hard time? Why am I judging myself right now”

The moment I feel this, I got back to trusting myself, and I’d let go and continue on.

Everyone who participates discovers new things about themselves, and it is not necessarily a negative thing. The group takes on a consciousness of its own where we all become in tune with each other. We become one team that moves together, trusts together and can be vulnerable together.

Lest I forget the best part of it all, fun. As individuals and a group, we discover that we are funny, that we are competent, that we can take risks, and we can lift ourselves into this collective space where there is no depression, there is no isolation, and so much more.

We were having so much fun that in the neighouring room, the folks next door were getting pissed at how loud we got.

None of us wanted to infringe on anyone’s peace, but it was a stark contrast. On one side there was what I called those stricken with “seriousitis” and us who were freeing ourselves and having fun.

I can’t wait for the next one, but we’ll make sure there isn’t anyone having a meeting next door.