Tag Archive | "AIDS Committee Of Toronto"

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This Little Piggy (I’m Not EXACTLY A Sex Pig – But I’m Close)


“Is this about pleasure or psychosis?”

Last night I attended the ACT Community Forum: Sex Pigs at the 519. Sometimes my face went completely red. Other times I giggled like a little kid. All of the time though was spent engaged and curious. Just what turn this conversation would take next.

“Pig sex has NO connection.”

Sex pigs like to fuck. They also like to talk. Picking up on a trend in the community, ACT put this event together, creating a space, safe for dialogue. They simply provided an open floor while recognizing it’s not up to any of us to figure out the WHY, there is value in discussing the WHAT.

“You do the things you do because you ARE so emotionally engaged.”

One of the panelists – a self-defined sex pig -  can remember hearing the term SEX PIG for the first time at the Mineshaft in NYC for the crowning of Mr. Pig 1980. 30 years later there is a group of men over 30 embracing identity and defining a happening sexual movement in our culture. The diversity in opinion was staggering as was the judgmental slant revealed on all sides. People want to own/understand/define their slice of a series of margins.

“You CAN have a meaningful intimate pig relationship.”

Eloquently and passionately described by the panel of pigs, raunch covers smells, fluids and their exchange, engaging in a shared fetishism of things that come out of the body. Pig sex would include these things but also provide the action and opportunity for someone who wanted MORE (or less?).

“Why do we call it PIG SEX?”

What is more? A greater commitment to intensified energy shared and expended, literal and theoretical intimacy, role play, condom-less sex (inferred by the use of words like uninhibited, open minded and abandon etc.)

“Pig sex to me CAN be suck and fuck.”

Wrapping it up (tongue firmly planted in cheek), of course this rap session did raise questions and commentary on safety and sex addiction, kink, clean/dirty, stigma et al. One inevitably is left asking: is this sex piggery healthy?

Health is self-determined and based on varied circumstance and belief in connection to how you feel, what you see, what you know and what you have been told.

So, IS pig sex healthy?

You be the judge of that.

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An evening on improv.


Last Wednesday, Brenda Lennie, Jim Maxwell and I, had another improv workshop at the AIDS Committee of Toronto.

Once again, the workshop was a great success. It is hard to explain the great stuff that comes out of these workshops until you’ve experienced it.

My one friend who is in a similar situation as myself joined us that night. When I say similar I mean that over the years without working, I’ve lost a lot of my confidence. I used to be a corporate trainer, and although I have no problem with public speaking, I no longer felt strong in facilitating workshops or even chairing a board meeting.


When away from having to take on these responsibilities, one does feel rusty and almost afraid again to take these kinds of activities on.

In improv, confidence is one of the main benefits I get every time I go through a workshop. Yes I can take on these leadership kinds of roles. Yes I can think on the spot.

My friend even said, “You can’t know how amazing this is until you’ve actually experience it.  I really enjoyed myself, no….I didn’t enjoy myself, it was one of the most amazing nights I’ve had in a long time.”

He carried on to say, “You know I didn’t realize how controlling and how little trust I have.” as he had such a hard time letting go to accept the what others were giving him in the improve exercises.

I noticed this, but hadn’t said anything. It was amazing to see this aspect of him.

And it’s true. With Brenda and Jim, we realized we had chemistry as an improve group.  I have complete trust, which can be a vague term.

For me this means, trusting that others are not going to judge me, trust that I can just be me and there is not a wrong way to do this.

Throughout the two hours, I’d constantly be checking myself.  “Ok why in this moment and I having a hard time? Why am I judging myself right now”

The moment I feel this, I got back to trusting myself, and I’d let go and continue on.

Everyone who participates discovers new things about themselves, and it is not necessarily a negative thing. The group takes on a consciousness of its own where we all become in tune with each other. We become one team that moves together, trusts together and can be vulnerable together.

Lest I forget the best part of it all, fun. As individuals and a group, we discover that we are funny, that we are competent, that we can take risks, and we can lift ourselves into this collective space where there is no depression, there is no isolation, and so much more.

We were having so much fun that in the neighouring room, the folks next door were getting pissed at how loud we got.

None of us wanted to infringe on anyone’s peace, but it was a stark contrast. On one side there was what I called those stricken with “seriousitis” and us who were freeing ourselves and having fun.

I can’t wait for the next one, but we’ll make sure there isn’t anyone having a meeting next door.

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World AIDS Day = The Return Of InterACTion


Every month, someone from our InterACTion panel will ask you what you think about issues that matter in our community – especially the topics we don’t usually talk about.  To kick things off, Harry asks you your opinion on:

“HIV, are we really over it? “

Infection rates for new HIV transmissions in Toronto show that there is a continued increase in the rates for gay men. Does anyone really care? I mean from an existential point of view I think most people ‘care’, but what about from the completely personal perspective? I mean where do we stand on the subject now?

When I was in my late teens and early twenties HIV was a life and death epidemic. You never knew when you hooked up with someone whether or not you were doing something that could ultimately kill you.

In my thirties there was a ray of hope with an introduction of medications that could reduce an individual’s replication of the virus. There was access to anonymous antibody testing that let you know whether you were positive or not. We had scientific evidence of what activities could place you at risk. We had access to harm reduction materials and for a while the rates of transmission among gay men dropped significantly. HIV was no longer a death sentence.

Now in my forties, we have a few more pills to work with, we still have harm reduction resources, anonymous testing can give results in 20 minutes and we have greater awareness of HIV and how to live with it. But there is still no cure, and gay men are becoming infected at similar rates to what they were over 20 years ago. So what does this say about gay men? Are we really over HIV?

InterACTion is about YOU – Leave YOUR thoughts – are we REALLY over HIV?  InterACT below!

Disclaimer: The comments expressed in InterACTion are those of the individual blogger and do not necessarily reflect the position of the AIDS Committee of Toronto.

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