Inevitably, when there is public discourse about gay rights the issue of – let’s say – gay marriage gets lumped into the same bin with abortion and abortionists (and from the more wildly right-wing fundamentalists, pedophilia and marrying one’s dog or most cherished pet pig).

I’ve often wondered why gay issues get thrown in with abortion (FYI: I support a woman’s right to choose, thankyouverymuch!) as two big lynchpin issues during an election, for example. We’ve all taken it for granted that that’s just what happens when left meets right and right meets wrong and then veers wildly off track. But I got thinking, “how is there even a remote relationship between the two issues?” I know to a certain segment of society, both are considered abhorrent, but that’s where the supposed comparison ends.

In my 45 years as a gay man, I’ve never become pregnant and had to face the choice of whether or not to have an abortion. I’ve also never impregnated anyone (most gay men haven’t – and this is not a piece about gay parenting, a totally separate issue). The closest I’ve gotten to the issue is to listen to women friends who have had an abortion share their stories. I bring this up because I was recently in a discussion around a table with a group of people and this very thing came up: gay rights and marriage and abortion.

What exactly does being gay have to do with abortion, anyway?

I finally challenged those in the discussion (who were not being rude or offensive) to explain why they think the two should be under the same umbrella. No one could, other than to say what I said a few paragraphs earlier, it’s something that a segment of the population finds abhorrent.

If we find ourselves in a public discourse and this comes up, it should be challenged. The people putting us in the same slot as those other issues should be challenged. We should make them come up with a cogent, reasonable and intelligent argument to support their statements. I mean, really, we aren’t baby killers, pedophiles or pig-fuckers; we’re just gay.