The Last Laugh with Richard Ryder
Richard Ryder
LUST :: Vampires, Witches, and Werewolves. Oh my!
All this fairy story bullshit aside (this is factually correct as the story line does now, in fact, have fairies), True Blood can just get good and over itself.
Richard Ryder on Designing Women, Family vs. Friends, Rob Ford, and viagra.
There’s one reason and one reason only we drift back to TV’s hottest show: it has the hottest sexiest sons of bitches on cable TV. Period. Case in point, yummy Joe Manganiello. Lube companies across America should thank his trainer for spank bank shots like this one! Woof, I mean Grrr, I mean…oh just pass the lube.
Thank you HBO!
Tags: gay guide toronto, GayGuideToronto.com, HBO, Joe Manganiello, Richard Ryder, True Blood, vampire
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THANKSGIVING :: Things I’m thankful for: G-Force Training: without their guidance and support, I’d be dead. It’s as simple as that. Although pie does taste good, you can’t taste it (or Extra’s Dessert Delights gum) from the grave. I’m grateful for my friends. They’re my rock. They keep real when I’m knee deep in the Cray Cray and they’re Cray Cray when I get too real. I’m grateful for my talents, both real and imagined. It’s nice to be able to generate an income just being me, no matter how bad this economy gets. I’m very grateful for the possibilities that our world and time provide me on a daily basis. Just knowing that it can all change in a blink of an eye makes me less worried about the bad times and more appreciate of the times that are good. And finally, I’m very grateful to all who read my blogs and attend my shows. I’m as entertained by my your interest as you are by my sense of humour.
Happy holidays to you all!
Miss Raquel gives thanks for her uncle and grandmother’s concurrent heart attacks. (Yep.)
Tags: G-Force, gay guide toronto, GayGuideToronto.com, Richard Ryder, Thanksgiving
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SKIP DINNER :: Okay, shut your face! Or better yet, your mouth… around this: Extra has made gum that tastes like desert. I’m serious! Gum that taste like, among others, strawberry shortcake, apple pie, and their best: key lime pie… you can actually taste crust! There’s even a whip cream finishing note in the strawberry shortcake! And two chews is all you need to know that that apple pie is a la mode! But it’s sugarless gum! It’s like eating pie FOREVER! Seriously! Do yourself a favour, get some today and see how bad tomorrows commute is chewing on one of these bad boys! YUMMY!
My, my, me oh my, i love pie!
Tags: apple pie, dessert, Extra, GayGuideToronto.com, gum, key lime pie, pie, Richard Ryder, strawberry shortcake
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ALTER EGO :: Okay, in the theatre of my gay mind. If they were to redo Designing Women with an all gay cast, I’d be Suzanne Sugarbaker. I’m loud, fat and lippy. We’re practically twins. But if I could have a BFF from Designing Women, I’d want it to be Charlene Frazier as played by the delicious Jean Smart. She was warm, funny, friendly and the type of friend who’d help you move. Suzanne would never do that. She’s too selfish…and probably just had her nails done.
Let’s face it, it’s probably better to be a selfish person than to know one.
Tags: Delta Burke, Designing Women, GayGuideToronto.com, GGT, Jean Smart, Richard Ryder, Shaun Proulx Media
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The difference between family and friends:
A friend will ask you if you’ve lost weight.
Family asks if you’ve gained.
The battle continues.
Sigh
Tags: GayGuideToronto.com, GGT, Richard Ryder, Shaun Proulx Media
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So, Jabba the mayor and Mr. McGuinty are meeting today to discuss the city of Toronto‘s 774 million dollar budget shortfall. Does anyone else feel a disturbance in the force?
Tags: Dalton McGuinty, gay guide toronto, GayGuideToronto.com, Richard Ryder, Rob Ford, Shaun Proulx, Toronto
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Alright, there are a lot of people complaining that they find Twitter boring. And understandably. With only 140 characters to work with, it’s usually just the facts on Twitter.
I call it Facebook Lite. Twitter is like the Blackberry of social media while Facebook is the iPhone. No wonder long-winded, game playing Facebook types find Twitter boring. It’s just them and their friends. No distractions.
I say mix it up. Don’t follow your friends on Twitter! Most of them probably suck anyway! Start following the alphabet soup of celebrity lists. A, B, C and, yes, D-listers are SO gonna be more fun than your friends.
Trust me. This is why I follow Cher. On Twitter there’s no beads, no wigs, no makeup. It’s just Cher, and this bitch is crazy! Spelling mistakes and all!
- Richard Ryder is never boring on Twitter. (He spells right, two.)
Tags: BlackBerry, Cher, facebook, GayGuideToronto.com, GGT, iPhone, Richard Ryder, Shaun Proulx Media, twitter
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Maybe it’s just me or maybe it’s because I actually remember what Mick Jagger looked like when he was dancing, but it seems to me that he’s getting a lot of credit these days for nothing. Especially now with that new Maroon 5 song, ‘Moves Like Jagger’. Mick Jagger didn’t have moves (not that anyone wanted to copy anyway). He looked like a spastic victim of shock therapy. Don’t believe me? Look at this. You don’t have to watch the whole thing. The first 40 seconds will be enough:
I know. It’s bad. So why all the kudos? I think the problem is most people who actually remember Mick Jagger first hand are either dead or at it’s door, which leaves a fan base of kids who were raised to think Mick Jagger = Rolling Stones = cool.
I blame Ke$ha (as do many people for many things). She isn’t old enough to know who Mick Jagger is either (she probably had to ask her mom who he was) but she used his name in that song anyway. Why? Because, the ONLY reason she kicks guys to to curb UNLESS they look like Mick Jagger is because Jagger rhymes with swagger. If she actually knew what he looked like today, she’d throw up on him in the curb and move on because the only thing worse than Mick Jagger’s dancing IS his looks.
He’s rough is what I’m saying. It would’ve been a different world if she’d rhymed Go Go with Bono (who, in my opinion, is way cooler!). We’d all be grooving to ‘Bounce Like Bono” right now, but no. The word de jour was ‘swagger’ so Jagger it is.
But maybe I’m judging to quickly. Maybe it’s not such a bad thing now that I think of it. Maybe this is a sign from the universe that it’s time for all those uncoordinated, rhythmless freaks out there who don’t have moves, to embrace their spastic ways and own it on the dance floor the way Jagger does. To stop lurking in the shadows, shunt from all the Janet Jackson wannabes and the Britney clones. To leave your geek laden insecurities by the wayside and let your freak flag flap. Who knows? The next person you slap randomly in the face while dancing could be your future ex! Good luck … and 5, 6, 7, 8!
Tags: GayGuideToronto.com, GGT, Janet Jackson, Ke$ha, Maroon 5, Mick Jagger, Moves Like Mick Jagger, Richard Ryder, Shaun Proulx Media
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Okay, there I was walking along Carlton Street towards Parliament. On my way to Toronto star drag queen Miss C’s to make yet another sparkly dress (she hits me if I don’t), when the billboard above caught my eye…for a number of reasons.
First off, the rainbow (I’m gay, I have to look), secondly, it’s Viagra, the hard-on pill. Power like that demands attention. But mostly it grabbed my attention because it was my first official ‘corporate whore-out’ to the LGBT community.
Normally I’m offended by this blatant type of advertising. Most of these companies ignore our existence at the best of times but come Pride they get right up our asses (because they think that’s what we like), to snag queer dollars during the celebration. Which is offensive in a number of ways but especially to the lesbians and the Transgendered, for obvious reasons (apparently it’s just us gays who like things up our asses).
But then I thought about it. Who fucks more than gay men? Sure straight guys ‘want’ to have sex all the time but it doesn’t mean they do and women, trans or otherwise, are very busy! Gay men have sex (so I hear) all the time. They have rooms in bars for it. Hell, there’s even an app for that. Grindr anyone? If ever there was a target market for a product it has to be Viagra and gay men, especially during Pride! Plus it’s a great ad. Without saying a word, other than advising you to talk to your doctor (yeah, right) this simple billboard practically screams:
IF YOU’RE A GAY MAN IN TORONTO DURING PRIDE,YOU’LL WANT TO FUCK EVERYTHING UNTIL YOUR DICK FALLS OFF. LET US MAKE THAT DREAM COME TRUE.
Who’s thinking about talking to their doctor’s now?
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Tags: Atlanta Pride, Boston Pride, Chicago Pride, Dallas Pride, GayGuideToronto.com, GGT, LA Pride, NYC Pride, Richard Ryder, San Francisco Pride, Shaun Proulx Media, Toronto Pride, Viagra, Washington Pride
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Okay, so we all read THAT article in The Grid. Or tweeted it. Or found it and ‘liked’ on Facebook.
The point is, it didn’t go well. Pre-Mos AND post-mos took umbrage! Hate shot across the web in an electric flurry. The reaction was HUGE!
I loved it. People were incensed! “How dare this young adult barf his narrow albeit accepting life arc (seriously? the cottage?) in our innocently reading faces?” they cried (in the theatre of my mind)(also, there were torches)!
But was he wrong? He glosses over the fact that he’s enjoying his life BECAUSE of the sissy fags and leather queens who’ve been fighting for gay rights well before he was born (is it just me or did he totally leave out the Bull Dykes? Brave move)! Would it have been a different world if they hadn’t fought for our freedoms? Absolutely. Would this author have had a different life and produced a different article because of that? Possibly.
The point is, it is his experience and it is his life. He wrote what he knew (lucky? sad?). Should he have been so ‘opinionated’? He couldn’t help it, he’s obviously young and sheltered. Should The Grid have printed it? TOTALLY!!!! This bitch hit like a mother-fucker! Controversy = Dialogue. Well done! Way to relaunch a magazine!
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Tags: Atlanta Pride, Boston Pride, Chicago Pride, Dallas Pride, Dawn Of A New Gay, GayGuideToronto.com, LA Pride, NYC Pride, Richard Ryder, San Francisco Pride, Shaun Proulx Media, The Grid, Toronto Pride, Washington Pride
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