Lately I’ve found Facebook becoming the AOL (America Online). I’ll go into more detail about Facebook/AOL in another video post.

For today, I’d like to discuss one element of the making of new online acquaintances or potential dates through this medium: honesty vs. forthrightness.

Being that I am out about my positive status everyone that I can bloody think of, when I receive a message from someone I do not know, I have to think of the age-old question, “Does he know?”

For a variety of reasons I don’t post a Facebook banner disclosing my status, as I haven’t seen this as a date-getting venue. You could still connect the dots if you dug around a bit and followed some links.

When the occasion arises where a potential date is about to happen, I feel I have no other option to cut to the chase. I rather deal with a minor headache of never hearing back from someone “post-instant messenger” disclosure, than a real live migraine as I watch someone squirm in front of my eyes as they try to get out of this one.

Honestly, that hasn’t really happened much, but I absolutely hate the, “I have something to tell you…” moment. Why not just get it out of the way and relax.

More often than not my response is “Thank you for telling me and that is very honest of you”

What I’m thinking is that honest is used more as a synonym for forthright. When I see honest I have this knee-jerk reaction, which I know is not the intent of those who choose the word honesty.

Why I react is that I feel that if I hadn’t said something that there could be a suggestion that I was being dishonest. Nobody is suggesting that, but that’s the feeling I get when I see it. And don’t get me wrong, it’s still a nice response to get after telling someone.

Oddly enough, this is not where I usually lose someone, it is after I tell him that I don’t drink, or do drugs.
Either they think I’m completely dull and no fun to hang out at a bar with (and they are right) or that I am judging someone else’s consumption of either.

Funny isn’t it.