Madonna. Monroe. Minogue. Cher. Gaga. Streisand. Garland. These are just a few of the classic icons gay men revere and have admired for decades. They are recognized as beacons in the fight for rights. They are lauded as survivors who triumphed in the face of adversity to become legendary. They are all considered to be powerful women of their time (and some, tragic icons). What’s missing from the list? Men.
Gay men have long pointed to and acknowledged women as cornerstones in the queer movement. Some are bestowed status because they were victims of their own existence in times they didn’t conform to, while others are cheered for their power, determination and sheer fortitude.
Why are so few gay men recognized as icons?
Like many gay men, I’ve long admired women (especially powerful women) and feel a sense of camaraderie with them for different reasons as I’ve moved through different stages in my life. But one thing has always pecked at the back of my mind: why are so few gay men recognized as icons? You would imagine at this stage of the game we would have enough examples of gay men who have achieved, survived and triumphed to be hailed alongside our female cultural demigods.
We have Elton John (outspoken survivor), Sir Ian McKellen (award-winning actor and activist), Tom Ford (style icon), Rufus Wainwright (pretty gay boy who doesn’t play the pronoun game) and the two George’s (Boy & Michael, who are quickly filling the shoes of tragic). However, as prominent as these men are, they still pale in comparison to their female counterparts.
Is it because gay men don’t seem to display the balls as our female icons?
Why do gay men have such a difficult time finding characteristics to admire in other gay men? Is it because we are sexual rivals and potential sexual partners? Is it because we are conditioned to compete with one another? Is it because gay men don’t display the balls as our female icons?
It’s not that I want to see the women we admire relegated to the back rows of our culture, I just think it’s time we begin to recognize gay men as icons and beacons for other gay men to emulate, or admire, or pattern ourselves after as more than just a physical ideal or graded on fuckability. I’d love to see gay men revered with the intensity and longevity we bestow on our women. I’m sure there are gay men out there who fit the bill.
