I would like to start this post by saying that I take 100% responsibility for my choices from my past. In this case I decided when I was 16 years old that I did not want my licence to drive. I never could justify having all that metal following me around. The cost to the environment which I was strangely aware of even then.
That choice had a price for me this past weekend as this was the weekend that Don Miguel Ruiz and Don Jose Ruiz were here in town.Unfortunately it was held on the far side of the Air port Ugh! I was a trooper and fully embraced this distance and trekked all the way out there.
On Saturday the organizer, Andrew of Inspirational Works asked if I wanted an interview. I was not expecting this and with much excitement and gratitude I accepted and arranged to have it take place after the workshop on Sunday as I did not have my camera.
I jump out of bed on Sunday check the trip planner and it told me that I would arrive at 11:15 (assuming it was on time) That was 3 hours? In my morning haze (not even with a joint) I head out to the subway station I arrive only to discover it’s Sunday and it hit me like bricks yes it may just take 3 hours. I had another choice to make.
I reflected on the learnings of my weekend. I felt guilt . I will not deny it. Don Miguel spoke about guilt in men he says: “we as humans are taught how to be Man and how to be Woman and that each of us has been programmed to believe two lies. For the majority of men it is guilt and for the majority of women it is shame although, we have both.”
Men are programmed in to guilt by our Mothers saying things like, “Don’t be like your father” for men we think we don’t want to treat women they way we heard or mothers speak of our fathers treating them. For women shame is brought by statements like “your a disgrace to the family”.
The Don’s continued, stating: “we learn to hurt ourselves with everything.”They pointed out that we could chose to to see that rather than hurting ourselves with everything and not taking everything personally that through awareness we can see that everything is here to teach us something.
In the case of my experience this weekend I learned to live with the repercussions of a decision I made many years ago. I learned to perhaps take a preview of my travel arrangements. I also am leaning how to address my human guilt.
Oh yes that. So what do I do with the guilt? they say if we have an awareness of the guilt and the shame we can change it. As I said to you earlier I feel guilty! I am aware and I am also aware of what I am learning from the situation and I felt much better.
I took the time to send my regrets to both the Don’s and to the event organizer. The Don’s Manager offered to arrange a Skype interview in a few weeks this reignited my sense of desire but that’s a whole other Don Miguel conversation that I will save for another day.
