When I saw Precious and that last scene with Monique, I said: “Bitch just won an Oscar!”. I said it with love. I love Mo’Nique and I loved to hate her in Precious. But Mo’Nique didn’t look so sure. Did you see her on Barbara Walter’s last ever Oscar Special? Did you see her on the Red Carpet? She’s had an intensity in her eyes. Like she’s been holding her breath too long and “thinking positively” far too hard. Hell, she probably has Ekhart Tolle’s New Earth on tape in the car AND on her iPhone. But there’s no guarantee. There’s no secret formula for winning an Oscar. Remember Oprah and Whoopie AND The Color Purple? Thank God Whoopie won for Ghost is all I’m saying. But I digress.
It’s the Gay-D-D.
Back to Mo’Nique. Did you see her before they called her name? She looked worried. She looked like if they didn’t call her name she was going to have to cut a bitch. All the other nominees were whiter and thinner and Mo’Nique wasn’t gonna play dat! When they did say her name did you see her reaction? She let out that deep breath and closed her eyes as if to say “You just saved a white bitch’s life tonight.”. See? The Oscars does save lives. Take that Cancer research!
