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Feb

04

InterACTion – PnP 4 U?

InterACTion:

Sex. Drugs.
Love, lust and everything in between.
HIV and STIs.
Bars, baths and beyond.
Tell us what you think as we discuss a wide range of issues relevant to the health of gay men.
Don’t just sit there – InterACT!

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OK… IDK… ROTFLMAO, may b its JMO, and IANAL, nor a FISH but possibly an OF, NEway… OMG, IAC does NE1 out there no what I mean?

(Think YOU know what all of these letters stand for? Share your response in ‘Comments’, below.  I dare you!)

Phew… that took a minute for me to figure out!  Being online and reading someone’s cyber lingo can be a difficult task. It seems there is an abbreviation for just about everything. Some of these abbreviations can be confusing. I mean, I think I know what they mean, so I go ahead and use them too. It just seems to be the online culture, and let’s face it: regardless of age and internet savvy, we all want to fit in… to some degree, at least.

So what happens when we don’t really understand a term and we are too embarrassed to ask for clarity? We may end up being embarrassed anyway – or worse – get into some difficult situations.

Doing online outreach and reading chat room posts and bulletins, I realize that I am not alone. Recently, there was an interesting dialogue taking place on one of the sexual networking websites about “PnP” (party and play). That’s when I realized I was making assumptions. I thought PnP was simply using drugs while having sex. Okay, be honest: did you just think, “Well that’s what it is, stupid!” Well, welcome to my world. In fact, PnP is a much more complicated term than just figuring out what the letters stand for. For some, it means ‘poppers and pot’; for others, it means ‘clubbing and fucking.’

For those of us not in the know, partying generally refers to drugs that reduce inhibitions and are often taken in combinations. It could mean doing cocaine, smoking a joint, having a few drinks then doing crystal meth before hooking up with someone for a few hours of ‘wild sex.’

So what’s the big deal? You tell me. There were certainly a lot of views expressed in the bulletin board I read. What if a guy asked you online if you were into PnP and you responded, ‘yeah,’ thinking you’d have a joint? Well, you could be in for quite a surprise! Maybe this has already happened to you. What did you do?  What did you think? Start talking, below!

- Harry

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5 Comments For This Post

  1. Donna Says:
    February 4th, 2010 at 12:40 pm

    IDK – I don’t know
    ROTFLMAO – Rolling on the floor laughing my ass off
    IANAL – I am not a lawyer
    FISH – forget it stuff happens. (a nice way of putting it)
    OF – old fart? (i.e – Len’s grandfather is such an old fart.) *shrug*
    NEway – Anyway
    OMG – Oh my God
    IAC – In Any Case
    NE1 – Anyone
    MAYB – May be

  2. all care - no responsibility Says:
    February 13th, 2010 at 10:41 pm

    PnP .. Isn’t that an acronym for Presumptions and Preconceptions? So many PnP hook-ups go wrong because there wasn’t enough planning and there were miscommunication.

    First up, to respond to Harry’s worry that “his idea of PnP is different to mine”, I would advise would–be PnP-ers to use only their own substances. That avoids the “what if he wants to do blow and I want to do e?” dilemma. Even if he says the white powder is “just” cocaine, how would you know?

    So… if you are going to PnP (and it’s a decision that deserves a lot of consideration!) here is my three-step checklist:

    1. Prepare and Plan (obviously this occurs BEFORE the hookup)
    – make sure you have thought about all the supplies you will need for playing – condoms and lube come to mind! Don’t assume that if you go to his place, he’ll have them on hand (It’s amazing how that Rexall drug store seems to pack up shop and move location in the middle of the night – just when you when you most need it!)
    - have an exit strategy in case its needed (like getting an understanding friend to call periodically or program your iPhone to ring at set time intervals).. it’s less embarrassing to say “Oh, I’m sorry, my friend / partner / mom / boss / wife has just called and needs me” than “this isn’t working”.
    - be clear about what you are comfortable doing BEFORE you start. The internet makes it easy to do this. You can put all the graphic details (including pictures) in your profile and ask him to read it before you finalise the hook up!

    2. Pause and Protect (WHILE you are playing. Or is that partying??)
    - Periodically take a breather – its all too easy to get caught up in the urgency of it all.
    Suggest a fruit juice / shower / icecream and use this circuit breaker to make sure you still have enough safer sex supplies and consider whether you / he should hold off on any further “substance” use tonight. If he’s in front of the TV enthralled by a speech from the prime minister, you can be sure he doesn’t need a top-up!!

    3. Pleasure or Pain? (there is ALWAYS a morning after!!)
    The sun sneaks through the window, the condo elevators merrily ding their way up and down the building…. OMG, it is morning?? Already???

    Is he in a fit state to walk home? Am I in a fit state to ask him to leave?
    Am I now madly in love with him and want to cook him breakfast but don’t have any tofu / eggs / maple syrup / clean jeans? Or am I thinking.. “what the HELL was I doing?? How soon can I get (him / myself) out of here?”

    A bit of pre-planning goes a long way.. as long as it isn’t so planned that it inhibits the spontaneity … a delicate balance.. your call!

  3. JJ Says:
    February 19th, 2010 at 9:50 am

    Well, in my PnP days I certainly never thought that it only meant a joint.
    It definitely did mean unlimited meth and a countless caps of G.
    In those days I used to get so mad when online and hooking up got to the point where you bring up the drugs… and sometimes people would flatly refuse and say that they weren’t into PnP.
    At that time I would scoff or laugh hysterically. Denounce them as delusional losers who don’t know how to fuck and move on to someone who did.
    That was then.
    I think it was a stint in isolation in a hospital covered in sores and riddled with syphillis receiving penicillin through an IV and into my spinal cord that brought to my attention the possible truth that… maybe this wasn’t worth it???
    Not really a party at all.
    Having said that… If I could have partied and played and not welcomed every ounce of dna I could get my hands on or mouth around or well, the other option – I might have a different opinion.
    But what is PnP without that ever elusive load?

  4. reflection Says:
    February 22nd, 2010 at 4:18 am

    JJ raises an interesting point.. drugs can cause a whole range of negative impacts if you become addicted, but the issue of STIs (JJ mentions syphilis) is NOT a consequence of drug use, it’s a “failure of safer sex practices” (condoms / dams / negotiation). I think we have to be careful not to confuse drug use and STI transmission… OK, if someone is high, they are less likely to observe safer sex practices but this also applies to alcohol, which society accepts with open arms (and even promotes through advertising and event sponsorship) and the “heat of the moment” feeling from “legal” and readily available amyl nitrate (poppers).

    My message is … don’t judge people according to their substance use (alcohol, tobacco, marijuana, meth, E, G. poppers)…. just make sure that whatever you might be using as a “social lubricant” be alert enough to practice safer sex..

    If in doubt the AIDS Committee of Toronto’s website has heaps of practical reading for you!

  5. Csongor Says:
    September 1st, 2010 at 2:58 am

    “Beauty is merely skin color deep, but liberal’s towards the bone.” – me

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