I had a conversation with an Executive director of an AIDS Service Organization about the capacity of People living with HIV / AIDS. In this conversation, this particular Executive Director believed that most of his clients do not have the capacity to contribute to the HIV Movement.
My position was and still is that every Person living with HIV/ AIDS has the capacity if they have the desire, to contribute to the movement. That it is our responsibility to unveil that potential and nurture it. For I feel that in the nurturing of ones inner capacity is where true positive prevention lies. If I love myself and my physical life I will respect myself others more. I often refer to it as the healing of our physical lives.
Healing ones physical life is not easy and often it requires lessons that involve much more than setting goals. On many levels it is about awaking to the truth. Many times that truth begins with what you believe about yourself.
As a person living with HIV I can understand the trap that our community has created after all it really takes nothing but a diagnosis of being HIV+ to get on Ontario Disability Support Program (ODSP) or to go on Long Term Disability. But their are no structures to get off the system in a manner that accommodates the fact that we may get sick a little more often. Where we don’t live in fear of someone finding out that I am living with HIV. A structure that says we support you in this process of healing your life.
Living on ODSP can be humiliating you loose your sense of personal freedom living only in locations that you can afford their is nothing glamorous about that lifestyle. Aprox $1000. / month is not enough. It is only recently that ODSP even allowed people to go back to work provided their is employment that allows for sick time and is fully understanding of what your living with. Often this is not the case.
Many times this life is not conducive to thinking the best thoughts about oneself on any given day and with some of the things that the medications do to us actually is quite depressing. I can totally understand the lack of meaning or the story that’s playing in our heads that says: ‘I’m not even worthy of being capable!’ and the proof was found in that my Executive Director believes that I can’t. We all know my distaste of the word can’t.
As we have covered before if you believe you can’t your right! Having our community tell us we can’t does not help in changing those beliefs. If an individual does not believe they can and no one tells them otherwise chances are they will not accomplish what they believe they can not do.
So now I’m wondering how does telling others they can’t or are not capable, serves ourself or our community? What dammage does it do to others when you do? From the other side what purpose does it serve you when others say you can’t or are not even capable and you believe them? What dammage does it do when we say it to ourselves?
