Out with the Old…In with the Old? Looks like there may be a few wrinkles in your next Pride parade.
In the spirit of the New Year and new decade, let’s look ahead to new opportunities, new challenges and new successes. Yes, baby New Year shoved that old goat (2009) off into the margins of history – where he belongs – to rot in his oversized adult diaper and toothlessly gnaw on his cane.
And speaking of old guys being shoved off to the side, I recently received a very interesting press release from the Pride Committee talking about a new initiative as part of celebration of 30 years of Pride in Toronto: the new Pride Toronto 40 Plus Committee, spearheaded by Dexter Roberts.
The 40 Plus initiative will feature a dedicated website, and have a number of activities throughout Pride where older participants can share their stories about what Pride (and life) was like back in the olden days as well as discuss issues surrounding ageing in the LGBT community.
We have been sending out messages for years about the value and preciousness of youth to the point that queers are afraid to grow old
One passage in the release made me stop and blink before I reread. To wit:
“Being over 40, is not so much an age as a mindset. ”It doesn’t mean you have one foot in the grave, and it certainly doesn’t mean that you’re not having sex. Your values have shifted, that’s all.”
Well, thanks god for that! And here is where I think the problem lies. We have been sending out messages for years about the value and preciousness of youth to the point that queers are afraid to grow old. I have written about this ad nauseam over the years (as I’ve aged) and have seen little change in the messages sent out to further compound the idea that youth and beauty equal power. Quite frankly, I wouldn’t go back to my 20s if you paid me. I have more (and far better) sex now, neither one of my beautifully-shoed feet is in the grave, my personal life and career are in better shape now than they’ve ever been. Come on 50!
Currently, ageing is not permitted in the LGBTTQQ2S community
Currently, ageing is not permitted in the LGBTTQQ2S community in any truly visible or celebratory way. Yea, I’ll get things thrown at me for that, but let’s face it it’s true. Now here comes the big question: what is the gay community anyway? Is it a state of being or state of mind?
Many people have been either lamenting or celebrating the precipitous crumbling of Toronto’s Queer Mecca, Church & Wellesley over the past several years. I think it still holds sway to a certain portion of the queer population looking for a certain type of entertainment and pastime. But I can say with absolute certainty, us “older” gays ain’t sitting at home knitting jock straps and remembering the good ol’ days at the St. Charles Tavern and all those fan dancers!
I do a lot of events outside the traditional village and can tell you where the 40+ queers of all sexes are: everywhere! They go to other clubs and bars in new, burgeoning queer neighbourhoods (both east and west sides of the city). They go to political, social, art, literature and lifestyle events in very cool spaces where they become edified, share information and connect with like-minded people in a welcoming atmosphere. An atmosphere many of us felt slip away from us years ago.
Pride really hasn’t been a queer event since the mid-1990s
While I laud Dexter’s initiatives with this 40 Plus Pride Committee, I wonder if it’s just a band aid solution to satisfy a yearly event and try to keep it somehow truly queer-relevant. Pride really hasn’t been a queer event since the mid-1990s. Personally, I marched for rights and freedoms and my brothers and sisters, not for the corporate banner waving over my head. But that’s just crusty ol’ me. Why not call Pride what it is: Mardi Gras North?
Perhaps we should take a page out of the Dyke March book and start Alternative Pride
Perhaps we should take a page out of the Dyke March book and start Alternative Pride. It would be for queer men and women who want to march in their own parade without having to be put on a list and get corporate sponsorship. We could enlist some of the stalwart groups from years gone by, like Dykes on Bikes, the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence – to name a couple – to lead the parade. We could march with meaning, celebrate our achievements over the decades (we were there first, after all) and create our own, unique experience. We could wave our own banners and shout our own slogans – or just dance to our own kind of music.
Pride started as a grassroots movement 40 years ago without a big budget and big business. It seems now we can’t see our roots for the agenda and budget anymore. Got a rake?
