This is a heartfelt thank you to those that made my transition possible. I don’t keep in touch with as many as I would like but amidst the talk of the village shrinking with the closure of Crews/Tango, Zelda moving and so forth, I want to take the time to pay homage to those that made and make up my village. My village is an amazing support system that picks me up when I fall and reminds me of the importance of giving back to community.
I encourage each of you to comment with stories about those that made/make up your village.
I’ll start at the beginning, those that made it possible for me to find myself and come out. I cannot thank enough those who conduct trans introductory workshops for all the conversations they start and the awareness they raise. It was at one such presentation that I was given the words I had needed to make sense of my life and the tools to do something about my dysphoria.
A great big thank you to the folks who work(ed) and volunteer(ed) at The 519 Church Street Community Centre. There is one man in particular there who is a mentor to many local and not so local trans folks. He gave me the best advice I ever got vis-à-vis testosterone: take it one shot at a time. If you don’t like recent changes, don’t do the next one.
I saw transition as this 100% or nothing situation; it was overwhelming. His wise words not only appeased my fear but also showed me how to be empowered towards my transition. I can never thank him enough for everything he’s already done and all the ways I know he will continue to enrich so many people’s lives.
There are many remarkable people at Planned Parenthood of Toronto. I owe tremendous thanks to one woman there in particular with an unparallel passion for youth empowerment. She enabled me both to come out when I did not pass, and supported me as I struggled with functional stealthness. She was especially instrumental in helping me work through my changing relationship with different communities found within the village as both my body and identity shifted. She will always be in the top 10 of the most influential people in my life.
My best friend fills in the gaps in my life before I realise they are there. He was instrumental in getting me to construct a positive body image. He exemplifies not only supporting but also figuring out solutions to problems not experienced first hand. Above and beyond that, he’s been a role model of anti-sexist masculinity as I built my own. More broadly, he’s been my unconditionally loving family. Lucky for me, he’s a big fan of hugs.
All too often taken for granted, I must pause and bow to the audience as well as performers at drag shows. Dragqueens and dragkings showed me how to take pride in being me wherever I find myself. Audiences expand the ways we connect as a community via entertainment. They encouraged me and gave me empathy when I felt isolated. A special kudos to those who partook in zany participation contests.
This list could not be complete without thanking medical professionals. There is the GP who trusted me our first appointment. A woman of infinite patience and care, I could never thank her enough for saving my life. There’s my current GP who among many other things stands up with me when pharmacists give me a hard time. Thank you for helping me care for my body and your great sense of humour. There are the surgeons who removed the body parts that were toxic to my mental health and reshaped other bits so I could feel at home in my skin. There are the nurses, truly unsung heroes, who gave me my first shots, showed me how to self-inject and so much more.
And finally, but most definitely not least there’s my therapist. This man listened to portions of my life I have not shared with anyone else and with very few words, made me feel safe and heard while giving me dignity.
Yes, many of those I mentioned are not located within the Church & Wellesley area, but that is one of the things I love about this city. The geographical neighbourhood is not the only place that I feel at home.
