Another HIV-positive man is facing charges for infecting a woman with the disease. Evidently Lester Felix knew he was HIV-positive and chose not to disclose his status to his date. On the other hand, she did not ask if he had HIV or any other communicable diseases and she chose not to use a condom when they had sex. The woman has now got the police and the law involved and the man (who KNEW HE WAS HIV-POSITIVE) has been charged with aggravated assault.
This is – as the English would say – a sticky wicket.
Should she have asked his status before getting intimate? Yes.
Should she have insisted he wear a condom during sex? Yes.
Should he have disclosed his HIV status before sex? Yes.
That folks, is life in a perfect world. We don’t live in a perfect world.
There are now many people – especially in the gay community – who are horrified that this is becoming a legal matter. They say it criminalizes people with HIV who are already stigmatized. Now, the woman in question who is the “victim” has been turned into the “menace” because she called the cops, while the man WHO KNEW HE WAS HIV POSITIVE, SAID NOTHING and infected her is now the “victim”. It’s getting stickier in here.
In all this convoluted mess, the one thing that really sticks in my craw is that she’s being referred to as a “Dumb Bitch.”
She did not ask his sexual history or health: Dumb Bitch!
She did not insist on using a condom for sex: Dumb Bitch!
She called the cops and pressed charges: Dumb Bitch!
This whole “dumb bitch” things makes me think of women who find themselves otherwise victimized by their partners. If a woman meets a guy, goes out with him and gets raped, is she a dumb bitch for not asking if he has raped other women? If a woman goes out on a date with a man and gets severely beaten, is she a dumb bitch for not asking if he has a history of aggression toward women?
I understand that this is a very complicated issue for a lot of people – and a very emotional one. But to call a woman a dumb bitch because she didn’t ask the right questions of this guy is unfairly punishing her. And I think it’s really shameful coming from the gay community. Weren’t we blamed for GRID and Gay Cancer 25 years ago? Weren’t we maligned by politicians and religious zealots as disease mongers? Weren’t we shunned by health care workers who refused us treatment? Weren’t we looked on as dirty faggots who got what we deserved?
No, she did not act responsibly when it came to her sexual health but neither did he. Ask yourself this: have you broached the topic of HIV status and other STI’s with EVERY ONE OF YOUR PARTNERS? Have you ALWAYS and without fail used a condom in each and every sexual situation you’ve been in? Judging by the unrelenting cases of new HIV infections, I’m going to say, no.
So the question is: are you a Dumb Faggot?
