It was quite funny to see the Gay Guide Toronto’s update pronounce that I needed to get laid. What’s new? My quest has been successful, I have been getting laid, quiet a bit. Not on a completely whorish level, but I do have well more than six months or more of catching up to do.
In these travels, usually over the internet, more and more I’m encountering neg guys who are into their own version of bungee jumping.
It’s the same rush with a new twist: no rope. Simply jump off the bridge and hope you come on back.
One guy, trick X with whom I reconnected, probably late 20s, early 30s, wanted me to fuck him bare. I brought up the tired and boring conversation of status, as it’s clear in my profile. Trick X didn’t care, and assumed that he was probably positive but hasn’t gone and got tested yet. And not only did he want me to fuck him bare, he wanted me to shoot on his asshole so he could feel it, and then have me fuck my cum back into him.
Now if by some miracle he were still negative, he would not be after that. Can you think of anything sexier than fucking a new infection it to someone? Contrary to what some negative guys accuse us of, I do not find this enticing.
Later on, I chatted with another guy who was mid-30s, and he said he was negative, and wanted me to fuck him bare, but just not cum inside him. The old pull out method.
I joking wrote back saying, “I’ll only do this if you write me back a message with your name stating that you have knowledge of my status and you consent.”
Funny enough, he did write back with that, but I still wasn’t going to go there. It’s all I need is to have my face published in the newspapers with a Globe and Mail Margaret Wente hex put of me.
Call me crazy, but that’s a lot drama just for a bit of ass or cock.
Moving on, I meet another guy, Trick Y – this one has been a repeat. But he told me that condoms were such an issue that he couldn’t be in a relationship unless it was condomless. The odd fuck every now and then by me is ok, but nothing desirable for the long term. He complains every time about having to use them.
Even someone such as myself who has been around this subject for a long time can momentarily think, “Well what if we did just this one time, he said he is cool with it.” which then turns to, “What the fuck are you thinking, are you crazy?”
If I can get that way, imagine what it is like for someone with squashed self-esteem, or tweaking when offered up some hot guys hole asking him not to put anything on.
When these guys seroconvert, who’s to know if they will suddenly want to blame someone. My really screwed up x did. A guy fucked up on GHB, crack and Tina, obsessed by barebacking as a bottom, decided it was someone else’s fault and called Public Health to make this guy’s life hell.
It really seems like there is an entitlement to perceived “safe” unsafe sex. It works perfectly until the positive guy fucks it all up. And then he should pay by having criminal charges laid.
Trick Y said he’d never go to the police. How can I really trust who’ve I’ve only known for an hour or so over lunch?
You see boiling bunnies are tricky things; you just never know when they are around the corner until you’re confronted by a pair of bobbing rabbit ears in an oversized pot without any warning.
I’m told time after time that relatively recent local studies say that gay men not using condoms are more like the exception than the rule, and the idea that they are not is more of a myth.
Yet, my experience time and time again brings me to this culture of entitled raw sex, extreme risk taking, and for some complete indifference to sero-converting.
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