Pride brings up lots of emotions in people. Typically it’s associated with celebration, joy, happiness, fun and – of course – partying! But for those of us who have a few decades of Prides under our belts, it can also bring up memories of struggle and strife, anger and alienation.
I remember marching in my first pride parade back in the Stone Age (about the same time as the Stonewall Age). The year was 1982, I was 19 years old and had just begun my coming out process. I landed at Toronto’s 519 Church Street Community Centre smack in the middle of the gay village. I was like Dorothy the first day she landed in Oz: all eyes and wonder – and a lot of fear. What to expect? Would I make friends? Would I fit in? Would that hag at the end of the bar get her hands on me and my little “dog” too?
In short order I found myself part of Lesbian & Gay Youth Toronto and spent several years with the group where I made friends and found a safe place to come out and learn who I was with peers going through the same experiences. Being part of LGYT afforded me the opportunity to march in Pride parades for several years and that’s when I first encountered PFLAG.
PFLAG has been around since the ‘70s and helps queer people move through their coming out experience. It also offers education, support and peer counseling to Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (hence the acronym). I remember always getting very emotional when PFLAG passed in the parade and remember the roars and cheers and screams of delight they received from marchers and watchers alike.
PFLAG was a beacon of hope that we would be accepted by our own family one day.
For those of us who – way back when – felt alienated and apart from our families and friends as we took our first tentative steps into the gay world, PFLAG was a beacon of hope that we would be accepted by our own families. For some, it worked out, for others, they never mended those fences but PFLAG always showed support, compassion and understanding and gave us a sense of peace and belonging in the bigger community.
This year while you revel your Prideful buns off, make sure to give PFLAG a huge cheer and a big smile as they pass by in the parade. Show them your love. They’ve been showing us theirs for decades!
