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Apr

20

The Grass Is Always Greener

It was fitting that the first day of spring 2009 I ran into my friend Robin on the subway after not seeing him for about four years.

In his four year absence from my life Robin had lived in Montreal, Vancouver, Halifax, Vancouver again, Windsor and spent sometime in Winnipeg. Spring signifies fresh starts and new beginnings and Robin self admittedly was afflicted with “the grass is always greener” syndrome. Just like a robin redbreast, Robin returned to Toronto now pines for the places he has been. Many people – and gay men in particular – suffer from the idea that there islways something better somewhere else: a better life, a more exciting party, a bigger cock, whatever. What they are forgetting in this analysis is that in all aspects of their life they are the only consistent factor and if one needs a big change they must look within themselves, because even after crossing the country they themselves will still be there.

Many people within the leather community are famous for this kind of griping. I cannot remember how many times I have heard “the Toronto Leather scene is dead”, “there is nothing going on in this city”, “Europe is where it is happening”, or “the U.S. is much more open”. Okay, with that last phrase you know that something there is beyond fucked up logically. Not to sound cliché but the answer is simple: Stop your god damned whining and smell the fucking roses. It is spring and the leather community is alive and thriving in Toronto. MLT’s ‘Ressurection’ (www.mrlt.com) kicked off on Easter weekend. Just last month Northbound Leather hosted a lecture with renowned Master Mike Zule, and Spearhead just celebrated its 39th year as a leather organization, The Toronto Boys of Leather(Tbol) just reformed ([email protected]). So you want to be Kinky just launched its own website (www.2bkinky.com) and continues to offer regular seminars on kink bd/sm topics. Mr. Leatherman Toronto 2009 continues his “Leather on Top” the last Saturday of every month as well as the Churchmouse and Firkin’s Leather Brunch the third Sunday of every Month. Northbound continues to host their fetish nights at Goodhandy’s. This is just the tip of the iceberg no matter what your thing, leather or not, the bottom line is there is a lot going on in this city yah just gotta get up off your ass and find it.

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3 Comments For This Post

  1. Robin Empson Says:
    May 10th, 2009 at 7:58 pm

    I’ve had my Sally Field/Gloria Swanson moment today for this ex Mr Fellowship! Sean, it was great to run into you and to be mentioned in the article. I have followed your blog in my travels. To be clear, I LOVE TORONTO, and those watching my mid life moving (read Blair) were aware it was always a dance around returning here. Some of the absolute best times of my life were spent here, and other cities could never stand up. From the MLT fundraising, Eagle bartending, fantastic parties, BUT, more importantly, being blessed with a richness of friends in Toronto kept me coming back. Vancouver was needed to get going in the Special Needs and hospital work, and again, more importantly to see missed family. New friends in my travels were another blessing. Glad to be back and grateful to run into all my old Toronto friends here. Lord, I sound like Gloria Swanson with a bio – Robin loves Toronto! See you soon, Sean..xoxo PS I had made another career of defending our fair city :)

  2. Dwayne Says:
    May 10th, 2009 at 8:25 pm

    I belong to the group of men who have travelled beyond Toronto and have come back. This is home. For whatever it’s worth, for all the trials and tribulations of people feeling that they don’t belong, Toronto is one of the very few places left on this earth where belonging is AT CORE. I’m proud to be back home. To be back in leather. To be back in rubber. And for whatever I might have been to people before, it doesn’t matter to me now. What matters is that I’ve never stopped caring about this city, our people. Toronto, and all it’s grasses, are hugely green here. And like Robin, I’m proud to be back.

  3. ECLSIR 2009 Tony Says:
    May 27th, 2009 at 5:19 pm

    I thin that we all suffer from the travel bug and at one time or another have found ourselves pulling up roots and moving to another city, province or even country. I’ve had the pleasure of living in a couple of different cities here in Canada as well as a few years in Australia, and not matter how far away you go, home is always home. The cliche of “no place like home” is more than just an over used line from a movie.
    And yes, Toronto has a huge, very active leather community. The Black Eagle Toronto has enlisted the help of many of us here in the Toronto Leather community to present demos during the week and workshops and has an enforced strict leather dress code at least once a month.
    In recent travels I can honestly say that it is NOT more open in the US. What once was is not much longer. Sure, San Francisco has its Folsom Fair and Dore Alley and the like, but the rest of the time the leather scene is more in the background, more subdued than what it once was. I believe that we here in Toronto have surpassed what any city in the US can present as a leather community.
    We are loud and visible and proud!!

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